


from waves overgrown (come the calmest of seas)

by mypage



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged Up NCT Dream, Alternate Universe - Beach, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Alternate Universe - Surfers, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Angst, Leaving Home, M/M, Mild Thalassophobia, Minor Character Death, Romance, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:29:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24613801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mypage/pseuds/mypage
Summary: "You already live in the city, why move to a beach town with nothing much to do here?" Renjun asks, his curiosity getting the best of him but his facade doesn't change for a moment."You have a beach and crazy waves, and for me, that's all I need for an exciting life."
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Kim Minseok | Xiumin/Lu Han
Comments: 20
Kudos: 133





	from waves overgrown (come the calmest of seas)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bunnyctzen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnyctzen/gifts).



> As you read this fic or before you read this fic, I do suggest listening to the song where I got the title from. It's called [Leaves by Ben&Ben](https://open.spotify.com/track/6wdCelHrPh7UfliNjwRTUv?si=3ORnsDdGSl2xZJheAbSlUg). I think it really fits the overall mood of the fic. 
> 
> And with that, I hope you have fun reading this fic!

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?” 

Renjun hauls behind him the last of his aunt’s luggage, the rest of them already tucked into the trunk of the car that will take her back to the city. The silhouette of the mansion looms over them as the sun begins to set, and Renjun gives her an assuring smile in stark contrast to the impending darkness. “I’ll be alright, auntie. I’m a big boy. Make sure to say hi to  _ jiejie _ for me, okay?”

His aunt, ever so loving, with lines of the years she has lived and the moments she has laughed marring her otherwise youthful face reaches out to press a tender hand against Renjun’s cheek. Instinctively, Renjun leans against the touch. “Of course. Don’t forget to eat your meals, make sure to lock all the doors, and keep the curtains closed when you go to sleep. Call me if you ever need anything, anytime at all.”

There’s grief behind her worry, grief that Renjun is trying very hard to suppress. He has to be strong,  _ needs _ to be strong. He lost his parents in the accident⏤and his aunt had lost her sister too. Renjun cannot afford to be sad in front of his aunt no matter how much it aches inside. So instead of admitting that he might not be fully okay, Renjun holds against her hand and offers a smile once more. 

“I’ll be okay, that’s a promise.”

This time, his aunt pulls him into a hug. From where he stands, Renjun can see that the sun has set into the horizon, coloring the sea with a pale hue of orange. He almost thinks it’s beautiful, if not for it being the same ocean that had taken his parents with its tide. It’s a bit ridiculous, he concludes, how he can still find something so pretty even when it’s so vicious. 

He gets pulled away from the sight of the sea when his aunt squeezes him tighter. “It’s okay to not be okay, Junjun.” The car engine hums in the near distance, the driver waiting for her to board. “You have to let yourself be sad. Will you promise me that?”

The driver peeks from the window impatiently, and Renjun urges his aunt to go with a nudge on her elbow. He has half the mind to seal the promise she is asking him to fulfill. “I promise, now go. Your driver is getting a little impatient.”

His aunt laughs as she pulls away, dragging the last of her luggage as Renjun waves over at her from where he stands. The sun has almost completely set, the sky a mixture of pale violets and oranges. He tries not to look at the ocean, but when the mansion you grew up in is built right next to it⏤it proves to be quite the terrible feat. When his aunt’s car finally disappears into the distance, Renjun turns around and lets himself cry for the first time that month. 

Like the crash of the waves to the shoreline, Renjun feels all his emotions at once. 

_ Let yourself be sad. _

“You’re free to move in with me anytime, Renjun.” Donghyuck’s voice chimes in from the other line as Renjun watches the water in the pot come into a boil. 

It’s early morning, the day after his aunt left the mansion to go back to the city. The only thing that’s left in the kitchen and the pantry are instant noodles⏤all reminders for Renjun to go grocery shopping soon. He makes a mental note of it and hopes to not forget about it.

Renjun hums thoughtfully, lodging his phone in between his ear and his shoulder as he pours the packet of instant noodles into the boiling water. “I know, Hyuck… but I still have to meet with the buyers of the house and they won’t be here until next month.” 

Since the accident a month ago, Renjun has made the difficult decision to sell the mansion. Without his parents staying here and all of the house caretakers relieved of their duties shortly after the funeral, Renjun has no reason to keep the house. It’s true that it holds all of his childhood memories, but he cannot bear to live near the sea any longer. There’s also the fact that he has found a job in the city that's set to start soon, and with Donghyuck offering his place for a temporary home, the decision is becoming easier to make. 

The mansion is home⏤but it bears too much weight for Renjun to keep holding on to.

He can hear the soft music of a foreign artist resonating from Donghyuck’s end of the line, and he can almost picture his best friend dancing alone in his two-bedroom apartment. Donghyuck’s voice is chirpy when he speaks again. “Then why don’t you just stay with me for a month and come back? Clear your head just a little?”

“I’m not sure…” Renjun mumbles under his breath as he strains the noodles. He appreciates Donghyuck’s thoughtfulness especially at a time like this, but he thinks it’s best if he stays just a little longer, if he stays just long enough for him to start healing. “I think I need to stay here by myself for a while, you know? Say goodbye to my parents properly.”

There’s silence for a moment, just the sound of Renjun’s chopsticks hitting against the ceramic bowl as he stirs the flavoring into the cooked noodles filling the room. It takes a moment before Donghyuck responds. “Yeah… I understand. But I’m here when you need me, okay?”

“Of course, Hyuck.” Renjun smiles through his words, carrying his bowl of instant noodles from the kitchen to the living room, where the sunlight filters in through the high windows. He thinks about it for a second, and then he speaks again. “Love you.”

“Ew,” Donghyuck makes a retching sound, and it’s effective to make Renjun laugh. Although he gags, Donghyuck is quick to follow up on his reaction. “Love you too, take care.”

When Donghyuck drops the call, there is nothing else to accompany Renjun save for the high ceilings and the birds passing by the glass windows. 

The garden has always been a place that Renjun loved around the house. He grew up learning about how to care for the plants, their names, and when they bloomed. It’s always a pity to watch the trees fall in the winter, but there’s always an excitement when spring comes and he’s allowed to climb them again. 

It’s his mother who really loved the garden, working hand in hand with their landscaper to perfect the view. During the weekends, she’d invite guests from all over the town for a get-together. They’d share food, share stories, just something one would expect from the biggest house in a small town. His parents are well-loved, and in turn, Renjun is too. There’s a part of him that misses the weekend parties, a part of him that wishes that the town is still that tightly-knit, but it’s all wishful thinking now. 

The town has changed, along with its people, along with the garden. He’s a bit embarrassed to admit that he has let the garden dwindle since his parents’ untimely passing. His mother wouldn’t have liked how the garden looks, so Renjun decides to clean it up. 

After all, he’ll be staying here for a month. Might as well try to make it feel like home before he truly leaves.

Renjun grabs the rake and starts work on the dead leaves that have accumulated in the past month. The leaves have dried up, fallen from the trees that were once lush with greens. He wonders what the new owners will do with the garden, wonders if they'll repurpose it somehow. The garden served as a mini community center, and now that everything has changed gradually and at the same time, suddenly⏤Renjun isn't so sure anymore if their little town is still a community. 

Renjun is taken away from his thoughts about the town when he hears the rustling of their metal gates. The mansion is secured by iron fences and iron gates. Before, the gates were almost always open, but now, since Renjun is alone, he makes sure that every entrance is locked just in case. 

He knows that the town knows him well enough to not mess with the mansion, but these days, no one can really tell. 

He approaches the gate with the rake in his hand, his strides heavy and confident. He has lived most of his life in this town, he knows everyone and everyone knows him. There is no need for him to be afraid. Yet, when Renjun sees the unfamiliar character trying to peek into the mansion, he cannot help but grip his rake even tighter. 

The first thing that Renjun notices is his bright hair, dyed to the color of the sand, and his eyes that are wide in curiosity as he tries to get a better look at the mansion. The stranger is tall, broad shoulders that fill out the ratty t-shirt he's wearing. Renjun has never seen him before, and it appears that the stranger does not see him coming as he jumps on his spot when Renjun calls out to him. 

"What are you doing?" He asks, leaning his weight against the rake and watching with narrowed eyes as the stranger recovers from his shock. He has a hand over his chest, face breaking out into the widest smile that Renjun has ever seen on anyone—and then, he's laughing. 

He has met with a lot of strange tourists in the town, people looking for a momentarily escape from their bustling city life and Renjun is sure that this person is one of them. 

He doesn't want to deal with tourists. 

"Are you going to stop laughing and tell me what you're doing or do I have to call the police?" 

The threat of authority seems to sober up the stranger, straightening up and putting his palms in front of him in a gesture to ask Renjun to stop. "No, no—please don't. My name is Na Jaemin, I'm new in town and I was told that there was a mansion by the beach and I wanted to check it out. I really thought it was a museum. Nice house, man." 

Renjun raises a brow, the stranger's—Jaemin's words going over his head at how fast he's speaking. "Say that more slowly or I'm really going to call the police." 

Jaemin inhales. "My name is Na Jaemin." Jaemin smiles like he is made out of a thousand suns, and Renjun is not sure how he feels about the blinding light. "I'm new here, I just moved in from the city and someone told me that the mansion by the sea is a sight to behold and they're not wrong. I was wondering if it was a resort or a museum but I couldn't find an entrance anywhere so… I'm guessing it's not?" 

Renjun clears his throat, the praise about the mansion isn't something new to him, but it still takes him a while to accept any sort of compliments. So, he doesn't. "You're right, it's neither. But it's for sale, so unless you're the one buying this mansion, I suggest you stay away." 

The part about staying away seems to go over Jaemin's head, and Renjun does not know why he is still entertaining him but he stays anyway. There's something about Jaemin that Renjun can't pinpoint. Not now, at least.

"You're selling it?" 

"Yeah. Are you buying?" 

Jaemin laughs, the kind of laugh that is similar to earlier, one that splits his face in half, and Renjun does not understand how someone can be this happy over  _ nothing. _ "No. As much as I would love to live in a fancy place like yours, I have already moved into the bedroom at Kun's house. Do you know him? He told me about this mansion—" 

"Wait? Kun? You're living at Kun's?" 

Jaemin nods, and Renjun can tell that he's pleased with himself for pulling the correct string. Renjun is confused though, he's sure that Yangyang moved away only a week ago—and Kun has always been privy to strangers, so how come he's allowing a city boy to live in his house? It's a telltale sign that Renjun should go out more. He grew up with Yangyang as his playmate, and Kun had always babysat their playdates. He cannot believe that he has to learn these things from a stranger that lives in Kun's house. 

"Hold on," Renjun halts him before he can say anything, "are you living in Yangyang's room?" 

"Yangyang… yeah! Kun said he moved out to the city that's why he has a bedroom space. Although, I won't be staying there permanently. I'm planning on staying here for a long time so I might have to start looking for a house to rent. But for now, I live at Kun's."

Jaemin is talkative and Renjun does not know why he's telling him these things he didn't ask about. But surprisingly enough, he finds himself listening to Jaemin's long winding stories. 

Renjun scrutinizes Jaemin, eyes raking over him from head to toe, again and again, trying to find answers to the million questions in his head. Without meaning to, he lets himself ask the question. 

"You already live in the city, why move to a beach town with nothing much to do here?" Renjun asks, his curiosity getting the best of him but his facade doesn't change for a moment. 

"You have a beach and crazy waves, and for me, that's all I need for an exciting life." 

Surfer. 

Na Jaemin is a surfer. 

He stifles his laughter, exchanging it for an exhale through his nose instead and a slight shake of his head. Renjun has met a lot of surfers that come into their town for the weekend, those that do not stay for long but only chase the waves for the weekend as a wicked hobby. The town has local surfers and he is aware that it is a booming business, but none of the tourist surfers have ever stayed. Like everyone else, Renjun knows that Jaemin would have to leave too. One way or another, people will get tired of the same routine. 

"Right… you should meet with Xuxi. He's one of our local surfers, I'm sure you two would get along well."

Jaemin makes a sound of recognition. "Yeah! I know him, he's such a cool dude—I can't imagine surfing since 8 years old. What a badass." 

Renjun blinks, the million questions in his head multiplying but he knows better than to get curious, knows better than to make friends with impermanent people. He grabs his rake and waves it, deciding it's best to end the conversation now before his mouth starts running the questions. "Yeah, he's nice." He clears his throat. "If you don't need anything, please go now—as you can see, I'm quite busy."

Jaemin hesitates for a second, taking a tentative step backward as Renjun stares him down. He lifts his hand to wave at Renjun, but lets it fall back down when he pipes up again with a question he has seemingly forgotten. "I apologize for my bad manners, I didn't even get to ask for your name."

Renjun squints at Jaemin and at his expectant smile. He is the kind of person that Renjun shouldn't bother introducing himself to, yet—he allows it. Allows the story to begin. 

"If I tell you, will you leave?" 

"Maybe, if that's what you want." 

A flock of birds flies overhead, and the crashing of the waves against the shore is all they can hear until Renjun responds. 

"Renjun. Huang Renjun." 

Grocery shopping has always been one of the things that Renjun enjoyed doing. Before, he would come to the grocery store with their house caretakers to make sure that they get his favorite jar of peanut butter. He knows that they will still get the jar of peanut butter even without him accompanying them, but there is a certain enjoyment to the mindless strolling around the store and doing chores. 

Now that he lives in an empty mansion that used to bustle with life from not only the staff but also from his family, grocery shopping seems mundane. Rather than doing it out of enjoyment, Renjun is now doing it out of necessity. 

That is how Renjun finds himself at 9am at Xiao's, the local grocery store in the town. The store has been in town for as long as Renjun can remember, and Renjun has grown up to be familiar with the store owners as well. Especially with their son, Dejun, who now mans the front desk as a full-time job. He wonders if this is what really Dejun wants to do for a living. He doesn't ask though, he has never been too close with Dejun to ask personal questions⏤but that doesn't stop Dejun from checking up on him as he strolls inside the grocery store with a list in his hand. 

"Hi Renjun," Dejun greets with a wave. He's standing behind the counter, a smile on his face that Renjun returns politely. He is too cheerful for someone who has to work at 9 in the morning. "How are you?" 

Renjun shrugs as he approaches the counter for small talk. He likes Dejun, he's tolerable, minds his own business but asks the right questions. "I'm fine," Renjun responds plainly, putting the list he made last night on the counter for Dejun's reference, "just here for some groceries. Do you think this will be enough for a month?" 

Dejun scans over the list, surprise overcoming his features as he blinks up at Renjun. "Just for you? Yeah… that would be more than enough, are you shopping for the apocalypse?" 

Renjun laughs and shakes his head. "I just thought it would be convenient to do all my grocery shopping for a month." 

The news of the mansion being sold in a month has been widespread in the town. It has been the talk of the town ever since the mourning period for his parents’ passing had gone. 

"It would be." Dejun hums thoughtfully. "But the trip might be hard since you would carry this all back home by yourself."

Renjun thinks about it and Dejun does make sense. So he pockets the list, makes a mental note to just buy whatever is necessary for him to survive this week and save the other for the next trip. "You're probably right. Thanks for the tip." Renjun says, and with that, Dejun leaves him alone to his devices. 

He has done this before, nothing should be too hard, so he grabs a cart and wheels his way through the aisles. 

He begins with the staples like rice, sugar, and instant noodles. He hauls a couple kilograms of rice and sugar, and two packets of instant noodles before moving on. He realizes that he does not need much to survive, and Renjun gets lost in thought in the dairy section wondering if he should buy strawberry milk or chocolate milk as a treat. 

"Would you look at that—it's Huang Renjun."

Renjun looks up from the cartons of milk in his hand, turning to where the familiar voice is coming from. His heart beats faster upon hearing it, reminded suddenly of the counter over the mansion gate⏤and right there in front of him, with two shopping carts separating them is Na Jaemin. 

Renjun presses his lips together in a tight smile, placing down the cartons of milk into his cart before he starts wheeling it away from Jaemin. "Hi Jaemin," he greets, "enjoying the town so far?" 

Frankly, he doesn't really care about how Jaemin is enjoying the town. Jaemin can be bored out of his wits and regretting his decision to come here and Renjun wouldn't care. He's just making small talk, like how he's always been taught. Always be nice. 

Jaemin beams though, like he's genuinely surprised and impressed that Renjun cares. "I think meeting you for a second time has been the most enjoyable part of my stay as of yet." 

Heat rushes to Renjun's cheeks involuntarily, and he grumbles under his breath to try and shake it away. He isn't so used to people being this bold⏤to people flirting with him in the broad daylight, but he knows he shouldn't be swayed by city boys and their smooth mouths. Renjun tightens his grip on the handles of his cart, puts on his best straight face and sighs sympathetically. "That's a pity," he says, "it must have been a pretty boring week. Are you regretting moving into the town now?" 

The question stuns Jaemin for a moment, and Renjun takes this opportunity to push his cart away from Jaemin and into the other direction. And just like a movie script, Jaemin struggles to swerve the direction of the rusty shopping cart but he manages to catch up with Renjun anyway. 

"No! I'm kidding! I've been doing lots of things⏤Xuxi has been helping me⏤" 

Renjun turns his head to face Jaemin with a smirk in his lips, effectively rendering him speechless once more. It's entertaining to see Jaemin look like a deer in headlights when Renjun does  _ anything, _ and if Renjun is starting to enjoy the little interactions with Jaemin, he isn't going to tell that to anyone. "So it's a lie? Meeting me hasn't been exciting?" 

Jaemin splutters, his feet working overtime to catch up with Renjun. Renjun tries not to laugh, keeps his head low as he walks ahead of Jaemin. It's kind of fun, he thinks, playing with the stranger like this. He has never been one to very obviously flirt with a stranger⏤or for anyone in that matter, but if Jaemin is putting up the challenge, then Renjun isn't above biting it. 

Plus, he'd be out of town in one month anyway. This won't ever lead to anything. Not that Renjun is already thinking of that, not at all. 

"No, it has been an absolute pleasure meeting you⏤I just mean⏤" 

Renjun stops in his tracks, until he meets with Jaemin in the middle. With eye contact unbreaking and the slightest hint of a smile on his lips, Renjun speaks, "I'm just fucking with you, Jaemin."

It takes a second, and another, before Jaemin is laughing in the pasta aisle they're standing in. Renjun rolls his eyes, turns away to leave him there but not before he hears the next words that Jaemin tells him. "You're good, Huang Renjun. You got me there." 

"Don't underestimate me, city boy." 

"You know I don't." 

"Good, because there's more of that where that came from." 

Renjun allows Jaemin to follow him around the grocery store, but doesn't engage him in conversation further than that. He only makes small talk with people he already knows. Jaemin is practically a stranger, there is nothing to make small talk about and he isn't interested in pouring out any details of his life in the middle of vegetable boxes. 

Jaemin separates from him finally after a while, but not before bidding his goodbye. "I'll see you later, Renjun." 

Renjun hums in response. 

It's a small town, he doesn't doubt that. 

The beach has always been beautiful to Renjun. He remembers his summers spent by the beach, running around with his friends and enjoying picnics on the sand with his parents. He remembers the sandcastles built in the day and washed away by the high tides at night. The beach brings him tenderness, yet, at the same time, the sea brings him sadness. 

All he remembers now is his parents, remembers the way they told him goodbye as they sailed off in their yacht for their anniversary trip, remembers the promise that they will celebrate when they return. But they never did. They never returned to Renjun in the way he wants them to. Needs them to. 

So, he figures, that if he wants to move on and heal from the tragedy of his parents' passing, Renjun needs to befriend the sea again. Maybe he cannot find the tenderness in the sea like he used to, but he has to try. 

It's what his parents would have wanted. 

Renjun finds himself walking along the shore early morning. He's wearing a simple shirt and a pair of shorts with slippers to match. It's comfortable, perfect for the breezy day. The wind from the sea is cold on his skin, but the warm rays of the sun makes up for it. It's the perfect weather. The shore isn't too far away from the mansion, so he walks comfortably, like how he has walked along it for so many years. But unlike the years he has spent carelessly running, this time, Renjun is careful, cautious. 

The beach is empty, save for himself but as Renjun continues walking along the line of the shore, a figure becomes glaringly clearer. 

It's too late, and he's too near before he realizes who it is. 

Na Jaemin. 

There is Na Jaemin standing a couple of meters away from him. Renjun remembers that it's the third time they meet, and the voice of his mother in his head telling him how the third time's the charm resonates. He breathes in, hugs himself as the sea gifts them with another breeze. 

Jaemin hasn't seen him yet, and for that moment, Renjun allows his curiosity to get the best of him, allows his eyes to wander. They start from the sparkle of water droplets falling from his hair, the way his muscles stretch as he drags his surfboard away from the sea and back to the safety of the land. He doesn't even try to stop them from wandering down where Jaemin's swimming trunks hug the line of his hips, where his abdomen meets his⏤ 

"Oh," Jaemin chirps, and Renjun blinks back up to where he can meet Jaemin's eyes with the remnants of his dignity. He inhales then exhales, willing the redness of his cheeks to go away. He wonders if he's been caught, if Jaemin noticed. With the way Jaemin greets him with a friendly wave⏤it doesn't seem like it. 

Jaemin walks closer to him, dragging his surfboard next to him. Renjun remains planted to where he is, waits until Jaemin is in front of him.  _ Third time's the charm.  _ It echoes. 

"Good morning! You came to swim?" Jaemin runs a hand through his hair, slicks it back and grins at Renjun with that megawatt smile. He wonders if Jaemin ever gets tired of smiling so wide. 

Renjun shakes his head in response, instinctively taking a step away from the shore when the waves crash against them. "Do I look like I'm about to swim?" 

Jaemin lets out a thoughtful hum, and Renjun begins to regret his smart mouth. Jaemin is looking at him, looking at him up and down with his gaze heavy that Renjun feels his knees buckling from the sheer intensity of it. Renjun clears his throat, looks into the sea to distract himself from the way Jaemin is looking at him. It works, almost. 

"Not really, but you can wear anything to swim in the sea," Jaemin responds after what feels like forever. Renjun keeps his eyes on the sea. 

"I'm not going to swim." He says. "I came here to have a walk, clear my mind." 

He doesn't know why he's telling this to Jaemin, or why Jaemin is even listening. But he lets the conversation go on, he does not mind. Company is company, and Renjun is surprised at how much he craves it now that he has it. 

It's terrifying. 

Jaemin nods in understanding. "But do you surf?" 

Renjun fights the urge to roll his eyes, but offers Jaemin a half-smile anyway. "Is that your stereotype of the locals? That we all surf because we live by the sea?" 

The wave crashes against the shore again, and Jaemin takes a step forward as Renjun takes a step back. 

"No!" Jaemin says indignantly, planting his surfboard on the sand so that it stands tall next to him. From this angle, from the way that Jaemin puts his hand on his hips, Renjun has trouble looking away. "I was asking, because if not, I can teach you if you want?" 

There is that smile on Jaemin's face again, like he's sure of himself, like he knows that Renjun will agree if he convinces him enough. Renjun stands his ground though, his weight heavy on the sand he's on. "No, really, I'd rather be here by the sand, you know? Where it's safe."

Jaemin looks at him, scrutinizing him, but Renjun does not waver under his gaze. If there are reasons for Jaemin to love the sea as much as he does, then Renjun has his reasons to feel aversion to the ocean. 

Jaemin inhales, picking his surfboard up again as he gets ready to face the waves. "Learn to take risks sometimes, Renjun." 

Renjun’s eyebrows screw together as Jaemin lectures him with a single sentence. He thinks of all the chances he’s missed, of all the risks not taken and he thinks back to the phone call with Donghyuck⏤about moving to the city, about the job that is waiting for him there. He wonders if he’s ready to take the biggest risk of his life, or if he’ll ever be ready for anything in that matter.

He swallows, throat suddenly dry as Jaemin leaves him on the shore. Jaemin returns to the sea with much ease, with much confidence as he lies on his front to swim to the waves. The anxiety bubbles up in his chest as Jaemin gets further away from him, as the waves get bigger and Jaemin rushes to meet it in the middle.

His fight or flight instinct is kicking in but Renjun stands his ground. He reminds himself that Jaemin isn't in trouble and that he is in the sea on his own accord. Renjun stays to watch though, just to make sure, but he tries his best to stop his knees from trembling. 

When Jaemin finally stands up, Renjun can make out the grin on his face and the look he sends over to Renjun. He knows that Renjun is watching, and Renjun  _ is. _ He watches as Jaemin rides the wave like it's all he's meant to do all his life, like the ocean is his friend and that it will take care of him. Something about the way that Jaemin looks, standing on his board as the ocean carries him back to the shore makes Renjun think that he may like watching Jaemin surf more than he lets on. 

Jaemin returns to the shore, the ocean cradling him back to safety and it doesn't take him long before he returns back to the sea. 

Renjun does not want to admit it, but he takes his walk longer than he should. 

In the next couple of days, Renjun busies himself with packing up the rest of the personal items in the mansion. It's mostly just picture frames, ones that decorated their halls and rooms. The furniture will be left for the next owners and it's up to them to do whatever they want with it. Most of the personal items like his parents' clothes and their collections of books have been packed in boxes and will be shipped off to his aunt's place just before the house gets sold. He still has to figure out what to do with them, but he knows he'd want to keep it, if not all, then a part of it would do. 

Sitting alone in a big mansion, staring back at the faces of his deceased parents brings Renjun into another breakdown. Each time he thinks of them, each time he thinks of how he should have told them that he loves them more, each time he thinks of all the times he should have been a better son⏤Renjun finds tears welling up in his eyes. He wonders when he will get tired, or if he ever will run out of tears. His aunt did say that he should allow himself to be sad, but Renjun is tired of being sad⏤tired of crying. 

So he seals the remaining boxes, takes a cold shower to reduce the puffiness of his eyes, and dresses his best. He doesn't remember the last time that Renjun dressed up, with slim jeans and a silk button up top. Maybe it was when he was in the city with Donghyuck, meeting strange people in clubs and kissing them by the bathroom. The memories make him tremble, and a part of him misses the thrill of the city, and for a quick moment, he reconsiders Donghyuck's offer of moving in with him in the meantime. 

But he quickly shakes it off, reminds himself that he has unfinished business here and he shouldn't leave the town without finishing all of them. 

Renjun takes one more look at the full-body mirror in his room, grabs his wallet and his keys, and moves with purpose. He thinks that he's going to get drunk tonight. 

If there's a spot in town that's always bustling with life at this hour, it's the bar in the central part of the town called The Anchor. It's run by Soojung, and Renjun has very fond memories of her. Soojung had been part of raising Renjun, her mother used to work for their family at the mansion and it was only normal that Soojung and Renjun interacted a lot. Renjun believes that half of who he is, half of his point of view in life is because of how Soojung influenced him while growing up. In a way, Soojung is the older sister that he never had⏤he wonders why this is the first time in the past month he stepped foot in The Anchor when he knows that Soojung is here. 

When he gets there, the bar is filled with locals, tables never empty. Renjun beelines for the bar, ducking his head low so that people won't recognize him but he pauses in his tracks when he hears Soojung exclaim from the bar. "What the fuck?! Is that Huang Renjun?!" 

Renjun's head shoots up, panic surging down his spine as he meets eyes with Soojung. But instead of a scrutinizing glare that Renjun expects to be paired with the tone of her voice⏤Soojung has a smile so wide it makes the curves of her cheeks reach her eyes. "You little shit!" Soojung exclaims in her true fashion, walking out from behind the bar with her arm stretched wide for Renjun to come into. "Come here and give me a hug!" 

The music in the bar is soft, resonating in its wooden walls. It's loud enough that Renjun doesn't have to strain his ears to make out what the lyrics are, but when Renjun steps forward and welcomes himself into Soojung's arms for an embrace⏤everything else turns silent. 

Soojung is comforting, like family, and Renjun pulls away enough for him to save his face. “Hey,” he huffs without much meaning to it, “did you just call me a little shit?”

Soojung takes a good look at him, her eyes in crescents as she wraps an arm around his shoulders. She drags him to the bar, plants him to a seat, and Renjun is helpless but to obey. "I did, now you sit down here because all of your drinks are on the house today." 

Renjun looks around the bar, feels the eyes of the people on him. Even if he doesn't know them all, he knows that they know him. The entire town knows their family and the accidental passing of his parents had been the biggest news in town in years. He knows the pitying looks, and Renjun stops looking around. He doesn't need pity. 

He keeps his gaze focused at his fist on his lap, until Soojung places down a cold glass of beer in front of him. He looks up at Soojung, smiling slightly as he takes the beer into his hands. "Drink up, you look like you need to loosen up." 

Renjun grumbles a small thanks before he chugs down the glass in one go. Soojung makes a sound of surprise, watching him amusedly as he slams the glass back down on the counter. "I needed that." 

"I can see that," Soojung agrees as she refills the glass for him. She returns, sliding the glass back to him. "So you wanna talk about it?" 

He thinks about it, wonders if he can afford to cry in front of half the town half-drunk. He thinks he has cried enough at home anyway, maybe he can talk. It's not every day that he has the courage to walk up to Soojung and talk to her. "Well… I'm moving out of town next month." 

Soojung hums thoughtfully, leaning forward on her elbows. "I heard you're also selling the house?" 

Renjun nods. "I already found a buyer, but they're still doing business overseas so I'm still waiting for them. Once I sign the papers and everything⏤I'll be moving to the city." 

Soojung is understanding, and Renjun doesn't see the pity in her eyes. "That's good for you, you always wanted to live in the city. Have you found a place yet?" 

Renjun nods. "My friend is offering his apartment for a while until I find a place and settle in my new job. I'll be fine, I think." 

"That's wonderful." Soojung smiles at him, like she's proud of him⏤and it translates well, Renjun feels it. It makes him feel proud of himself too. "You're doing so great,Junjun. If you need help moving out, you know I'm here. Did you eat yet?" 

"I did," he lies, not wanting Soojung to worry, "I'm taking care of myself." 

Still, despite that confirmation, Soojung moves away from him to head to the kitchen. He serves him with a meal, quite unsuitable for this hour of the night but Renjun laughs and accepts it wholeheartedly. 

"Eat up. I know you're busy cooping up in the mansion, you know, doing whatever you do by yourself." 

Renjun doesn’t disagree and eats. It’s been a while since he remembers having a decent meal and he’ll be more than happy to indulge himself in Soojung’s best meal. As Renjun begins to eat, a group of bar-goers a few tables behind him start an argument, something about a bet from what he hears from their shouting⏤so Soojung excuses herself for a moment to dissipate whatever is bubbling. 

Renjun enjoys his meal, doesn't pick his food, and downs it with beer. He didn't expect to get pampered when he came here, but he knows that Soojung will always treat him well. There's a certain familiarity with Soojung that he knows he won't find anywhere, and perhaps, that's one of the things that he will miss the most about the town. 

Soojung returns to the counter, undoing then redoing her ponytail as she exhales. "God, why must  _ men?"  _

Renjun chuckles to himself. "Yeah, I know right?" 

"You're one to talk. I heard you've been hanging out with the surfer?" Soojung raises a brow, crosses her arms over her chest, and gives Renjun that ever so familiar look⏤when she knows she's about to extract the truth from Renjun. 

"The surfer? Xuxi? Where'd you even hear that?" He plays dumb, a cheeky smile on his lips as he shoves another fry into his mouth. He knows she's not talking about Xuxi, and he isn't even surprised that half the town has seen him hanging around Jaemin considering the number of times they have coincidentally met in semi-public spaces. It's the cons of a small town, he thinks⏤someone always knows what you're up to. 

"This is a small town, news spread fast. The new guy, Jaemin?" Soojung asks, offers the name to Renjun as she knows he would recognize it. Renjun does, and he tries his best not to stiffen up at the name. There's something about Jaemin that has him tensing, and for now, Renjun doesn't want to think about it. In fact, he doesn't want to think about it ever.

Renjun downs his glass of beer and Soojung generously refills it for him. "Not really, we just met coincidentally. There's no point in making new friends, especially right now. Especially tourists." His shoulders come up in a shrug. Soojung knows this, knows this fact about him that he doesn't intend to keep people in his life if they're not going to stay. 

But Soojung lays another set of information that Renjun isn't sure how to handle. "Such a bummer, our Junjun. He isn't a tourist from what I heard. Apparently, he's building a surfing school with Xuxi. Supposed to help out a lot of locals with tourism and employment. Pretty cool, I think." 

Xuxi has been trying in the past years to build a surfing school to encourage tourism and the other locals to learn, however, funding has always been tight. Although Renjun always offered to donate, Xuxi never accepted any of his help. Xuxi is hardworking, with the purest heart that Renjun has ever seen on anyone. Although he doesn't trust Jaemin fully⏤if Xuxi trusts Jaemin with his dream, then it must mean something. 

"Wow," Soojung exclaims, nodding her head to the general direction of the door and Renjun turns his head for a quick glance, "speak of the devil. Hey! Huang Xuxi! Get your ass over here, bring your friend too!"

As it turns out, a couple of buckets of beer and a number of shots have the power of changing people. Temporarily at least, because now, although his sight is a bit hazy and his knees are wobbly every time he attempts to stand up⏤he finds himself loosening up. In no time, Renjun is finally talking to Jaemin without all the one-sided psychological warfare.

Xuxi has passed out on the table, head in his arms as he takes a nap right there and then. Jaemin and Renjun still have a couple of beers to go, and Soojung is busy tending to the other customers so she can't stop to chat for now. Renjun can still hold himself well, despite being drunk. He loosens up enough for Jaemin to get him talking, and Renjun thinks that Jaemin has loosened way too much because he's blatantly flirting with him now. 

He doesn't know if it's because of the drinks, or maybe it's because he looks a little extra attractive tonight⏤but Renjun doesn't mind it at all. 

"Okay, I get it⏤you're a wild soul, yeah. Don't need to hear about you giving head at a bathroom. Gross. Dirty." Renjun burps, laughing as Jaemin leans forward to laugh against him. Jaemin is over-sharing, and Renjun would be lying if the image of Jaemin on his knees with swollen lips isn't burning into his brain right now. But he tries to shake it off, playfully shoves Jaemin away and asks. 

"You know what I'm curious about?" Renjun asks, meaning to change the topic away from Jaemin's sex life. 

"Yeah?" 

"Why'd you move here? I mean, I heard from Soojung that you're building a surfing school with Xuxi which is amazing, by the way. But like…  _ why _ here and why surfing?" Now that he's intoxicated, it's easier to ask questions, easier to be friendly without any inhibitions. Easier to care. 

Jaemin takes another swig of his beer. "The truth is that, I was supposed to move here with my best friend, Jeno. We met Xuxi at an international surfing competition and got to talking. Xuxi is really good at selling his point so Jeno and I got aboard his idea."

Renjun notices the choked up tone of Jaemin's voice, but he doesn't ask further questions, he only allows Jaemin to proceed with the story he wants to tell him. "Anyway, things happened⏤it's just me now. And Xuxi."

"So you're telling me you moved out of the city, forgot all about your city life and moved here just because Xuxi sold you an idea?" 

Jaemin hums thoughtfully, pursing his lips as he thinks. "Mhm, among other things⏤why am I the only one answering questions? You have to answer questions too." 

Renjun doesn't even think about it. "Okay, fine. Ask me anything." 

"So… if I talked with the right people and got the right information. You're the town's resident rich boy?"

Renjun resists the urge to roll his eyes, but answers Jaemin's questions anyway. "I guess you can say that… I really don't like that label though." 

"So were your ancestors like⏤mayors? Are you a political dynasty?" Jaemin asks curiously, words slurring together as he tries to be cohesive. 

Renjun shakes his head. "They don't like politics. We're just that rich family that sponsors the local fairs and events. That's what my family did for decades, I think." 

"Very influential, like, the Kardashians." 

Renjun laughs, remembers Donghyuck referencing the Kardashians once in a conversation. "God, it's so bad if you put it like that⏤but kind of? Except only the small town knows us so it's a whole different story."

Xuxi makes a gurgling sound from where he is, so their attention turns to him. When he settles down and finds a new position to sleep, they chuckle. 

"Are you sure that he'll be okay?" Jaemin asks with concern, reaching out to pat Xuxi on the head. "He's so drunk."

"Trust me," Renjun says, brimming with the confidence of being Xuxi's friend for years, "I have known him all my life. He always falls asleep when we drink.  _ You _ have to haul him back." 

Renjun is reminded of all the times he drank out with Xuxi, Yangyang, and Donghyuck. They weren't always pretty, but they'll always be the fondest memories Renjun has of them. No matter how blurry the memories may seem. 

Jaemin retracts his hand away from Xuxi's hair and folds his arms over the other as he leans forward to move closer to Renjun. There's a glint of interest in his eyes, and Renjun doesn't know if he's only seeing things because he's drunk, or if there's this certain way that Jaemin looks at people⏤looks at him. "You lived here all your life. You must know the entire town." 

"Guess so." Renjun responds. He does know a lot of the town, knows the shortcuts and the best hiding places. He knows the best sights and the most interesting people. It's what comes with living in a small town, he thinks, he only has this space to roam in the past two decades. It's easy to learn it like the back of his hand. 

Jaemin looks around the bar, still buzzing with people even at this hour of the night. Soojung flits around the room with practiced grace and sends them a wave when she passes by their direction. Renjun looks away from Soojung, then to Jaemin who quips, "Will you show me around?" 

Renjun snorts, hiding his laughter behind the mouth of the beer bottle. "What will I get from that?" The confidence with which Jaemin asks him is ridiculous, like he knows Renjun will agree without any second thoughts, like he knows Renjun isn't busy and needs something to do with his time. Maybe, he does. 

Jaemin purses his lips in thought, tapping his fingers against the wooden table they're sitting around. In this moment, Renjun can't help but stare at Jaemin, taking in all his features even with his vision blurry. With the alcohol in his system, it's so easy for Renjun to admit the attraction he feels for Jaemin. He has this certain pull to him, in more ways than one, and whenever Jaemin talks to him it feels like Renjun will come spilling his thoughts out to him if he just asked. He bites his tongue though, waits for Jaemin to lay down his offer and tries to keep steady. "The pleasure of being in my presence?" 

Renjun lets out a loud laughter this time, throwing his head back and slamming his knees up against the table from the sheer force of his mirth. Xuxi grumbles from where he is, disturbed by the laughter but it doesn't stop Renjun from laughing. Jaemin doesn't budge either, he only gazes back at Renjun, unnerving. 

When Jaemin doesn't share his laughter, Renjun allows it to die down in his chest, wiping away the tears that brimmed at the side of his eyes. He hasn't laughed this hard in this long, in fact, he doesn't remember the last time he even laughed. But Jaemin brings it out of him so easily, the effect Jaemin has on him is inexplicable, and he doesn't know if teaching Jaemin the town will do him more bad than good. 

Then again, what does Renjun have to lose anyway? 

"You are so funny. Well—if you insist, fine. But you have to learn the town in less than a month." Renjun says decisively, crossing his arms over his chest as he leans back on the backrest of his chair. "Three weeks." 

"Why?" Jaemin can't help the sound of confusion, raising his brows up in question. 

"I'm leaving the town." Renjun states, not wanting to elaborate further. 

The expression of alarm washes over Jaemin's features, scooting his chair closer to the table until his feet brush against Renjun's under it. Renjun swallows. "I knew you were selling the house, but I didn't know you were leaving. Why?"

He wonders if he should tell Jaemin now, bare all his history and emotions to the person who's barely an acquaintance. Jaemin has that allure, that comforting feeling of a listening friend⏤but Renjun decides he'll leave it for another day. He uncrosses his arms and smiles, leans forward so that he's as close to Jaemin as the partition of the table can allow and so that his foot brushes against Jaemin's ankle. Jaemin visibly tenses, but doesn't pull away. "If you learn enough, maybe I'll tell you." 

Jaemin clicks his tongue. "Game on." 

In a surprising turn of events, Renjun does not regret agreeing to Jaemin's request. 

He finds out that Jaemin is a fast learner. He's been showing Jaemin around the town every other day. Even if he can do it every day, Renjun still has some semblance of dignity and he wants to keep up the image that he's being productive by himself. And that's partially true, on the days that Jaemin has to work on some stuff regarding the surfing school, Renjun busies himself with new designs. Slowly, but surely, he's getting out of his slump and he couldn't be more excited than this. Each time Renjun sits in front of his laptop with his designs in front of him, he gets reminded of the job waiting for him in the city and his heart hammers in his chest. 

In the meantime, Jaemin brings him a good distraction, a way to take his mind off his grief, and although it will never truly wash away, having Jaemin around is good for him. He won't tell it to Jaemin, nor would he ever admit it to anyone out loud⏤but the one week he has spent with Jaemin, showing him around the town, has been the best time of his life since his parents' passing. 

Renjun looks at himself in the mirror, straightens out his shirt, and clasps his watch around his wrist. He wonders if he's overdressed with his button-up and skinny jeans, wonders when he started caring about what he's wearing in front of Jaemin but it's too late now. Jaemin texts him that he's outside the mansion, and Renjun will be a liar if he says he doesn't jog outside. 

"You're here early." He greets when they meet inside the gates. Jaemin is dressed casually, a hoodie over his head, and ripped jeans hanging around his hips. 

For a second, Jaemin looks him up and down, then looks at himself as he laughs. "You didn't tell me we were dressing up today… where are we going anyway? The town hall?" 

"You already know where the town hall is." He scoffs. "Didn't you go there yesterday? How'd that go?" Renjun ushers Jaemin to his car. It's almost second nature how Jaemin occupies the passenger seat. Renjun thinks he's getting used to this. 

"Oh, it went alright." Jaemin narrates as he does his seat belt. Renjun starts up the engine, reverses out of the parking as Jaemin talks about his day. "I finally got my business permit which means that I am halfway through building that surfing school. Xuxi has been contacting clients and we'll have the grand opening in no time!" 

"That's great," Renjun says absent-mindedly as he continues to reverse the car out of the lot. He has his hand on the backrest of Jaemin's seat, eyes flitting from the rearview mirror to the back window. Too focused on making sure they get out safely, he doesn't even notice Jaemin staring at him. 

"I'm starting to think that you're doing this on purpose." 

Taken aback, Renjun pulls his hand away from the backrest of Jaemin's seat as he finally gets them out of the parking. "What do you mean?" He asks, finally driving to their destination. 

"That." Jaemin gestures at the air in between them. "Reversing the car, all mysterious and serious⏤are you seducing me right now?" 

Renjun looks at Jaemin, gasping in genuine shock but he gathers himself quickly enough to retort. "Why? Is it working? Are my great driving skills turning you on?" 

This time, it's Jaemin's turn to be flustered and Renjun doesn't even hide his laughter. 

"And what if it is?" Jaemin challenges. 

There's a determined look in Jaemin's eyes, but Renjun knows they're only kidding. In that short amount of time, Renjun has found himself developing this connection with Jaemin. Half-baked pick-up lines and flirtation without meaning to it. In a sense, it's fun, it's exciting. It keeps Renjun on his toes. It provides a sense of warmth he has been craving and maybe it's selfish, but Renjun doesn't want to think too hard about it for now. If Jaemin flirts with him jokingly, then he'll flirt back even harder. 

"Then, you should see me parallel park. You might just fall in love." 

Jaemin laughs mechanically, emphasizing every ha's of it with an exhale. "You think I'm that easy?" 

Renjun keeps his eyes on the road. "No, I think you like me that much to fall in love with me."

For a second, Jaemin is quiet and Renjun glances over to him in panic, fearing that he may have crossed a line, only to find him pulling a face at him. "You are way overconfident." 

He laughs, eyes back on the road as he accepts Jaemin's indictment. "Sure, but was I wrong?" 

Jaemin exhales through his nose, shrugs his shoulders, and crosses his arms. Renjun has won this round. "Terribly so." 

Flustering Jaemin brings about such a pleasing feeling. Renjun laughs, looks at Jaemin, and commits this moment to memory. 

The museum is a two-story building that houses the most important artifacts relevant to the town. This is probably Renjun’s favorite place in the town, with it housing different works of art as well. It’s not as grand as the museums from the next town, but it’s characteristically theirs that Renjun can’t help but swell with pride as he shows Jaemin to the entrance.

“The museum isn’t very old, but its management has been passed down for generations. Right now, Minseok manages it along with his husband⏤Lu Han. They have part-timers to take tourists around, but it’s mostly just them.” 

True enough to his words, when Renjun pushes the door open, there’s Minseok and Lu Han by the front desk, arguing inaudibly to each other yet there’s the fondness that never really goes away. 

When they see Renjun and Jaemin approaching, they stop arguing and Minseok bats Lu Han away from him when he tries to sneak an arm around his waist. Like a berated puppy, Lu Han lets go.

“Renjun!” Minseok greets him, all gummy smiles and slanted eyes. “Welcome back, it’s been so long⏤who’s that with you?”

The knowing glance Minseok sends his way makes the tips of his ears burn red, and the sound of interest that Lu Han lets out isn’t helping his situation either. Minseok and Lu Han had always been Renjun’s role models when it comes to love. Although his parents’ love was great and Renjun wanted a love like them too, Lu Han and Minseok’s love story reflects his own desire to be loved. 

In fact, Renjun spent so much time in the museum when he had been younger that he tearfully came out to Minseok and Lu Han in the Christmas Village section of the museum during that fateful holiday. It’s funny, because Renjun had only been an odd teenager that went to the museum a lot, and, after being rejected by a friend after confessing to him⏤Renjun ran straight for the museum and hid among the Christmas exhibit. After that though, Renjun cemented his place as Minseok and Lu Han’s adopted son. The rest is history.

“I’m Na Jaemin.” Jaemin greets, and Renjun watches in horror as Lu Han climbs out of the front desk to envelop Renjun in a big hug. Minseok’s eyes go wide, exiting the front desk properly like an adult as he rushes to Renjun’s side. He doesn’t even see Jaemin’s reaction as Lu Han coddles him like a baby.

“Oh god, Lu Han, get off Renjun. You’re embarrassing me.” 

“But look at him! It’s been so long, he’s grown taller! Have you been eating enough? Are you taking care of yourself? Who’s this with you? Is he bothering you?” 

Minseok manages to finally pry Lu Han away from Renjun, tucking him under his arm to keep him there. Renjun smooths out his shirt and breathes out, looks at Jaemin who seems to be in shock at what had just happened. 

"Jeez, it's like you haven't seen me in years." Renjun chuckles, going in to give Minseok a hug too. "It's only been one month." 

"We were just worried, especially Lu Han. Are you doing well?" Minseok asks when they break apart, and Renjun steps back next to Jaemin. 

"I'm doing well, no need to worry about me. This is Jaemin, a friend." 

Jaemin smiles at him and Renjun continues to introduce him. "He's new in town, so I just wanted to show him the museum. Jaemin, this is Minseok and this is Lu Han."

"Oh, you wanted to show him around?" Minseok says. "Well, it looks like you guys won't be needing any of our assistance. Renjun knows the place like the back of his hand. You two enjoy, okay?" 

Renjun grabs Jaemin's wrist and drags him away from them before Lu Han can even start to say something embarrassing about him. He leads Jaemin to the Art section of the museum, filled with paintings and sculptures donated by the town's artists. This is personally Renjun's favorite spot in the building. 

"Sorry about Lu Han and Minseok—they're… well, they're a lot." He says when they're out of earshot. "They’re a little protective.”

Jaemin nods, looking around the museum with his hands folded behind him. Renjun doesn't know why he's nervous about what Jaemin thinks of Minseok and Lu Han, and of what they think of Jaemin. But still, he waits with bated breath to hear something from Jaemin. 

"They seem very nice. And fond of you." Jaemin states simply, his eyes busy gazing at the painting at the walls. 

"Mhm," Renjun hums, following him around the area. "They're very close to my heart. Almost like second parents, if you ask me." 

He has been friends (if that's the term fit for what relationship they share) with Jaemin for weeks. Yet, he still finds it himself to be surprised at how easily he unravels his stories to Jaemin⏤how easy his tongue and his heart finds it to unlock themselves so that he can pour himself out to Jaemin. 

It's terrifying. And exciting. 

Jaemin pauses in front of a hanging canvas, one that depicts the image of a woman longing for her lost love. It's a complicated painting, with short strokes and warm tones that captivate the viewer's eyes. Renjun has always loved this piece. 

He nudges Jaemin by the arm, finding his silence uncharacteristic so Renjun begins the conversation. "You practically know everything about me now that you met not only Soojung but also Minseok and Lu Han. I feel like it's a bit unfair." 

It sparks a reaction from Jaemin, who turns to him with a smile that displays all of his teeth. "Hm? How so?" 

Renjun shrugs, crosses his arms over his chest as he breaks the eye contact. He doesn't think he'll ever learn how to look at Jaemin in the eyes for longer than three seconds. There's something about it that makes him shy, embarrassed almost. "Well, I don't know a lot about you." 

Jaemin talks a lot. About everything and anything. Their conversations are perfectly balanced, like a steady game of pingpong where one doesn't have to chase for the other to keep the game going. However, Jaemin is still mysterious to him. As Renjun teaches Jaemin the town and all of his hiding places, it's inevitable that Renjun teaches Jaemin about himself too. 

"You're learning so much about me because I'm showing you around town but you haven't told me a lot about the city." He says, pauses as he remembers something—someone that Jaemin has mentioned in passing in the rare times he talked about himself. "You haven't told me why Jeno didn't come with you."

Jaemin visibly tenses at the name, and for a second, Renjun wonders if he did something wrong. However, the sourness in Jaemin's expression is gone as quickly as it came. "Well, maybe, if I teach you how to surf, I can also tell you my stories? How about that?" 

The word  _ surfing _ makes anxiety rush to Renjun's heart, the thought of riding the sea makes him nervous to the core. It brings about memories that make him tremble, brings about memories of his parents and Renjun has half the mind to not break down at the mention of the sea. Maybe it will do him good, maybe it'll help him finally face his fear and his grief. And, if Jaemin looks at him like _ that  _ with the promise to tell him more stories about himself, how can Renjun say no? 

He takes the risk and swallows the anxiety that swells inside of him like crescendo beats. "Hmph, fine. Just so we're even." 

Jaemin smiles to himself, obviously pleased. "Okay then," he steps closer to Renjun, "what's our next stop, Mr. Tour Guide?" 

Their office is impressive. 

It's a building near the beach, overlooking the ocean view and it's really not too far from the mansion. It's located in a convenient place and Renjun can already foresee the place bustling with eager learners. 

Jaemin has shown him some of the equipment, talked to him about the basics such as what kind of board you should choose, the etiquette of surfing and everything else that Renjun may theoretically need to be able to surf. They are things he's heard before, mostly from Xuxi, but he has never really bothered to retain this information until today. After all, he's never had any interest in surfing until today. 

This is how they end up in the office, one that smells like fresh paint and is divided into two parts. The other end of the room is distinctly Xuxi's, with his part of the office filled with sticky notes to set for reminders, pictures of his dogs and friends are in frames on his desk and his surf coach certificate that’s framed neatly on the wall. The other end is different though, with Jaemin’s desk only filled with a desktop computer that has two monitors. There’s a stack of paperwork to the side, a tumbler that’s been gathering dust and _ ⏤nothing _ else.

“You’re boring.” Renjun teases when Jaemin pulls out one of the chairs by his desk for him to sit on. Jaemin leans back against his desk, his hands clasped together as he looks around his own office. 

“What?” Jaemin asks defensively. “I have a computer, that’s enough.”

“Yeah,” Renjun agrees, shrugs, “but I just thought your office would have more⏤decoration?”

Jaemin gestures to Xuxi’s side of the office. “That’s not enough for you?”

“It’s not  _ your _ space. That’s Xuxi's. Yours looks like it belongs to a boring CEO. Are you a boring CEO?"

"No?" 

"Yeah." Renjun sighs out, standing up from where he's seated to circle the desk. "Didn't think so." 

Jaemin watches Renjun as he moves around the office, finding his space easily on the chair behind the desk. It's comfortable when Renjun sits on it, reminds him of his father's office chair and he lets it swivel around. "No pictures? No nothing?" 

Jaemin sighs, defeated as he turns to face Renjun, moving only his torso. "Second drawer on the left, picture frames." 

Renjun reaches out for the drawer quickly, rummaging through papers until he hits something solid. He pulls out a couple of wooden frames and lays them all out on the desk in front of him. 

Renjun looks up at Jaemin, eyebrows raised. "Who are these people?" 

The photographs don't have Jaemin anywhere. There's a man, tall with broad shoulders, crescent eyes as he beams at the camera. He looks like a friend. The other pictures have the same man with a shorter man, a mole on his cheek and a perpetual doe-like innocence caught through the snapshot. He wonders if it's Jeno. 

"Jeno and Mark, my best friends. Originally, I wanted to put their pictures on my desk but I figured, what's the point?" 

He has heard of Jeno, but Mark is an entirely new character. He scoots the swivel chair forward, so that he can reach out enough over the desk to hold Jaemin's wrist. Jaemin takes notice of his action, glances down at him with a resigned sigh as Renjun looks up at him through his eyelashes. 

"Want to tell me about them?" 

Jaemin seems to think about it for a second, rolls his wrist until he's holding Renjun's hand in his own. Renjun allows him. 

"Jeno's my best friend, and he met Mark while we were in university. It was fine, Mark went with us to surfing trips, became my friend too. He supported our dream, actually. You know⏤this." Jaemin gestures to the air around them with his free hand, and Renjun squeezes his hand to encourage him to proceed. 

"And for years, it's been going well. Jeno and I met Xuxi, like I told you. We had the school all planned out until Mark proposed to him late last year. Jeno dropped everything, moved with Mark abroad and got married. That's all there is to it." 

"And did you attend their wedding?" For a split second, Renjun pictures Jaemin in a black suit⏤hair slicked back and looking downright royal in a formal outfit. He brushes that thought away as quickly as it comes, and focuses on the issue at hand. But lately, he finds it hard to focus when Jaemin is around. 

Jaemin laughs. "Of course I did, I was their best man after all. But I just… feel kind of betrayed? Only a little bit, of course. It's their lives to live and I understand that they have to leave me all alone." 

Renjun tenses at that, grips tighter on Jaemin's hand. He knows that Jaemin is aware he is leaving too, and in this moment, Renjun doesn't know what to say⏤doesn't know what to do. Perhaps he's paralyzed by the guilt of leaving Jaemin too⏤

"And I know you're leaving too," Jaemin says, breaks the silence as he turns to Renjun, "but you don't have to feel guilty about it. I knew what I was getting myself into." 

Silence fills the air, Renjun's nerves thrum with a rush of feelings he can't quite understand. He thinks he knows where this is going, but the ball is in Jaemin's court and he doesn't know what to fully expect. "Jaemin⏤" 

"Renjun, I know you're leaving. And I know we only have a couple of weeks left together. And I know you have your life, and you have your plan⏤but I have to tell you this before it's too late or I might regret this for the rest of my life." 

Renjun swallows thickly, braces himself for the obvious. Jaemin's gaze is unwavering and Renjun feels himself burn under him. It's a moment that's too intimate that a part of him wants to run away, but it's a moment so intimate that Renjun feels himself pulled in like a magnet. He's helpless, and for the first time, he's fine with that. 

"I like you." 

"Hah, nice joke." Renjun quips, pretends not to be shaken by the sudden confession. But he knows Jaemin's words are heavy, they carry a weight that Renjun isn't sure if he can bear. 

Jaemin walks over to where he is sitting, pushes the chair away from the desk and cages him in with his arms. He leans forward, almost enough that their noses are brushing and it takes everything in Renjun not to close his eyes. 

“Renjun, I know you’re leaving, and I know you’re moving into the city and nothing can stop you. I don’t know why you’re moving, not yet, at least. But I know it’s a reason that’s important to you so I won’t stop you. And I’ve only known you for weeks and I know you’re going to break my heart when you leave but Renjun⏤I like you so much.”

Jaemin is intense, and every sense that Renjun possesses is heightened with their increased proximity. All reason is damned, and Renjun has broken all the rules he set up for himself before he even realizes it. He wonders if this is when he breaks all his rules, or if he has broken them way before they got to this point. But right now, Renjun throws away all of his inhibitions and closes his eyes. 

The seagulls fly right outside the window of the office, their squawks as they pass by are the only things Renjun can hear in this moment. He is void of thoughts but full of feelings. Renjun surges forward with all the courage he has left in his heart, and closes the distance between them. For the first time in a while, Renjun allows his heart to control him. He kisses Jaemin, firm, steady⏤unwavering. 

He feels Jaemin smile into the kiss. A hand finds purchase on the back of his neck and Renjun instinctively leans against the touch. He angles his head perfectly for Jaemin to kiss him properly, muscles moving in sync as if they have done this before in their previous lives. 

Renjun's heart is hammering in his chest, his ears going deaf as Jaemin deepens the kiss with every press of his lips. Jaemin is a good kisser, and Renjun feels everything all at once with such a juvenile action. It's just a kiss, and yet, it's the start of everything. 

It's Renjun that pulls away first, feeling the need to breathe before he drowns in everything that Jaemin is. Jaemin's cheeks are flushed, a smile stretches his face and Renjun can't help but find comfort in burrowing his face against Jaemin's neck in embarrassment. 

"Is that a yes?" Jaemin asks, his other hand running up and down Renjun's back comfortingly.

Renjun mumbles, his entire body still heating up from the kiss. "You didn't ask me anything." 

"I thought it was implied." 

He finds whatever bravery he has left and looks up to face Jaemin. "Well, ask me now." 

Jaemin blinks at him, the hand on his nape moving up so that Jaemin's thumb brushes against the apple of his cheeks. Renjun is bursting at the seams due to the intimacy, and his mind and heart are racing. It's so hard to catch up. 

"I'm serious, Renjun. Will you be my boyfriend?" 

Renjun forgets all his rules, forgets all his inhibitions and allows his heart to decide. He is happy, for now. Right now. And that is all that matters to him. 

"Yes. I'll be your boyfriend." 

If Jaemin and Renjun spent the entire afternoon making out in the office, then it's for them to know and for Xuxi to hopefully never find out. 

"I have a boyfriend." He tells Donghyuck casually over their regular video call sessions. It's easier than he thinks it would be, but maybe it's because Donghyuck's face is pixelated in his laptop screen that he cannot see the actual expression on his best friend's face. 

But from what he can see, Donghyuck is in absolute shock. "What? Can you say that again? You have a what⏤" 

"A boyfriend. Yes."

Donghyuck pulls away from whatever he's doing, dropping his book and scooting closer to his laptop so that his face is as close as possible to the camera. Renjun can't help but laugh. 

"Who is it? Xuxi? Dejun?" 

"What?! No! How can you even think that?" 

"Then who is it⏤" 

"Remember the surfer? Jaemin. Jaemin is my boyfriend." 

Saying the phrase, ‘Jaemin is my boyfriend,’ makes Renjun giddier than he expected. It still doesn't feel real, and Renjun isn't quite sure if he believes it himself. Jaemin has been wonderful, has brought upon so many  _ good _ things into his life in a short period of time and now—he can even call him his boyfriend. He doesn't even remember the last time he had used that term to address another individual. 

Donghyuck, however, doesn't seem as amused and Renjun understands. He has prepared himself for Donghyuck's castigation before he called him. He's ready for this. 

"But you're leaving." Donghyuck is stern when he speaks, expression unchanging. 

Renjun feels sheepish. "I know, but I still have a couple of weeks—and he knows I'm leaving but he still  _ asked."  _

"You're going to hurt him and yourself. Are you sure you like him or are you just with him because you're lonely?" 

The words bite, and when they do, they sting. He knows Donghyuck doesn't mean anything bad, knows it's only coming from a place of concern, but Renjun feels the pinprick of tears. He holds it back. 

"I'm not that kind of person." He exhales. "I know how it looks like, Jaemin comes in with perfect timing. I'm lonely, and fucked up and grieving but Hyuck—this is the first time I've felt happy in months. I think I can have this. I like him a lot, and I don't want to be stupid by not letting myself be with him in the time we have left together."

Donghyuck looks at him with an unchanging gaze and Renjun holds it stubbornly. It takes Donghyuck a moment before he sighs, relenting. 

"I'm sorry, that was out of line for me to say. I'm just looking out for you." 

"I understand your worry, there's no need to apologize. If I think about it, it scares me too—because it's so fast, you know? But I like him, I really do. And he knows my situation, he's helping me cope." 

Renjun knows that Donghyuck cares about him like a sibling, that they would go to hell and back for each other and Donghyuck's concerns are all valid. These are points that Renjun has thought of over and over, and despite all that thinking—only one thing prevails. He likes Jaemin, to the point that he can risk getting hurt if it means that he can spend whatever time they have left. Jaemin understands him, and that is more than what he needs. 

Donghyuck huffs. "So, what happens then when you leave? You're not going to ditch everything for a surfer boy, are you?"

Renjun pulls a face, appalled that Donghyuck would even think that. "No! I have a job to go to⏤and Jaemin knows that, he knows that I need to do this. He understands." 

For a second, Donghyuck presses his lips together before they stretch out into a smile. "As long as you're happy, then I'm happy. If you break your heart, I won't tell you I told you so." 

Renjun smiles. They both knew what they were getting themselves into the moment they decided to kiss each other in Jaemin's office. They have always been aware of the heartbreak that's about to come, but they're only humans after all. It's their nature to grab the opportunity at happiness. It's their nature to take risks. 

"I know you won't, you're my bestest friend who doesn't like making me feel bad for my life decisions."

Donghyuck rolls his eyes playfully. "I guess we will just have to see about that, huh? Anyway, when am I meeting your boyfriend? I'm excited." 

Renjun pictures Jaemin and Donghyuck meeting each other. For reasons unknown, he feels a shiver run down his spine at the thought. 

"I'll have to think about it." 

Renjun knows a little bit about surfing. It's not much, and they're only things that he has picked up over years of being friends with Xuxi. He knows how to get on his board, knows how to paddle and knows how to catch a wave. He's just never achieved being able to stand up on a board before. Plus, it has been so long since the last time he has tried to surf so he isn't sure if his body can still remember the way it goes. There's also his issue of being afraid of the ocean⏤the one thing he has to get over if he wants to live a happy life. 

It's terrifying, but Jaemin is here with him. 

Being Jaemin's boyfriend has entailed a lot of changes too. Where they used to settle for subtle brushes of hands when they walk together, Jaemin now holds his hand in his boldly. Jaemin greets him with a kiss each time they meet, and Jaemin touches him in places he's never known would feel  _ good _ in the hands of another person. It's exciting, and Renjun is indulging in everything.

And he knows, that with true intimacy comes vulnerability. Slowly, day by day, Renjun and Jaemin are showing vulnerability. Today, Renjun is about to vanquish all of his self-preservation and allow himself to be vulnerable. It's terrifying, but Renjun trusts Jaemin. 

They're right outside the surfing school, and Renjun has grabbed a familiar surfboard⏤one that he knows will keep him afloat. Jaemin is impressed, a grin upon his face as he walks up to where Renjun is waiting for him. He still feels scared, feels like the ocean might eat him up if he gets too close but Jaemin is there, and Renjun finds comfort in Jaemin. 

"For someone who doesn't know how to surf, you seem pretty excited." Jaemin comments when he reaches Renjun, their surfboards standing up next to them. 

Renjun smiles, looks at Jaemin up and down and wonders just how he got this lucky. Jaemin is gorgeous with tanned skin, toned muscles and an air of confidence around him as he walks. He's sure of himself, and Renjun finds it so annoyingly attractive. He sighs, runs a hand through his hair and tries to focus. It has been really a challenge to focus when Jaemin is around. 

"You know what they say." Renjun flops his board down and crouches so that he can tie the leg rope around his ankle. "Fake it 'til you make it. I'm terrified as fuck right now." 

Renjun tries to secure the leg rope around his ankle, but he doesn't know why he's failing⏤why his hands are trembling. He didn't fully realize the gravity of his fear, but Renjun wants to be brave. He won't let this defeat him. 

"Ugh⏤fuck, my hands⏤" 

"Renjun," Jaemin says, voice low as he reaches out to hold Renjun's hand, "Renjun, look at me, please." 

That's all it takes for Renjun to lose balance, suddenly, the fear and anxiety catching up to him. He's been trying to suppress them with the thought that Jaemin will be there with him, but it's not as easy as he's trying to make it out to be. 

He feels pathetic when he laughs, falling down to the sand in a slump as Jaemin rubs his arm. "Sorry," he laughs, maybe at himself, "I'm so scared." 

"Is it okay if I hold you?" Jaemin asks, careful not to overwhelm him but Renjun nods. A warm hug is what he needs the most. 

Jaemin moves so that he's next to Renjun, so that he can wrap his arms around him. Renjun snuggles up to him, face in Jaemin's chest and he starts to finally calm down. "Sorry." 

"Don't apologize," Jaemin retorts, "if you're scared, we don't have to do this. I'm sorry⏤I didn't know. We can go back, you really don't have to do this." 

Renjun looks up at Jaemin, and when he sees the concern etched upon his features, it's hard to keep his emotions in. "No, no⏤I want to do this. I don't want to be scared of the ocean anymore… I… I want to overcome it."

Jaemin soothes his back with a hand, nodding in understanding. "I know, but not now⏤you're still shaking, Renjun. And we aren't even in the water yet. How about we go back inside and we talk about it? Yeah? Then next time, next time we can go in. Okay?" 

Renjun can't do anything but agree, can't do anything but allow Jaemin to help him get on his feet. He feels so pathetic, so helpless as Jaemin brings him back into the office. In no time, he has a towel wrapped around him and warm tea in his hands. It helps him to calm down. He doesn't even know where Jaemin has procured all of this. 

Jaemin sits in front of him, close enough that their knees are brushing but far enough so that Renjun can still breathe. He sets the cup of tea back down on Jaemin's desk and takes a deep breath. He knows both the ocean and vulnerability are his biggest fears, and these are things that he must overcome one step at a time. 

Today, perhaps Renjun can overcome his fear of being vulnerable.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was scared of the ocean.''

Jaemin has a deep set frown on his face. "You don't have to apologize, Renjun. I should've asked first." 

"It's really not your fault though," Renjun argues as he takes Jaemin's hand in his. Jaemin's hands are warm, big and sturdy. He likes holding them. "I wanted to overcome it as soon as I could but I failed to realize that you don't get over your fears overnight." 

Jaemin lets him continue, lets him play with his fingers. "Honestly, I wasn't afraid of it originally. I could swim, I knew how to catch waves⏤but since… since my parents died in that accident⏤their yacht crashed and⏤I wasn't able to step close to the sea anymore. It scares me so much. Do you remember the time I saw you surfing? I watched because I was afraid you would be eaten by the ocean too. But you loved it so much, and it made me realize that I have to get over this stupid fear. I'm sorry, Jaemin. It's just… please know that it's not your fault that I'm stupid."

"Renjun, you're not stupid for being scared." Jaemin consoles him. Something about the way Jaemin speaks to him makes Renjun believe every word. "We don't have to throw you into the ocean so that you can get over it. These things take time and if we take all month, that's fine by me. Baby steps. Right?" 

Renjun blinks up at him, droplets of impending tears clinging to his eyelashes but he blinks them away. Jaemin is calming, he is serenity where chaos runs through Renjun's veins. He is the calm. 

It's amazing, Renjun can't help but think, how someone he has known for such a short while can have such a big impact on him. They're going  _ so  _ fast with their relationship that it is borderline terrifying but at the same time, Jaemin is willing to go slow. He's willing to go slow for him. 

"Baby steps," Renjun echoes, offering a tight-lipped smile, "okay, baby steps." 

Jaemin smiles, all teeth and gums as he leans forward to press a kiss to Renjun's forehead. The moment is so tender it makes Renjun's heart ache. He wonders if he's ever going to be loved like this again. 

"Baby steps." 

Since his aunt left at the beginning of the month, Renjun's the only person who has been inside the mansion. He has gotten used to being alone in such a big space that seeing someone else, seeing Jaemin inside it is so disconcerting. There's another body, another person occupying the space he has curated for loneliness and he doesn't quite know how to act. 

"Wow," Jaemin exclaims with a monotonous tone,  _ "this _ is a mansion. This is incredible." 

Renjun allows Jaemin to look around as he pulls the curtains open. It's been so long since he's properly let some light In the hall. The light hits the grand staircase and the handles glimmer as if it's bathed in gold. He has forgotten the grandiose of his house due to the darkness he has hidden them in and seeing Jaemin bask in it is kind of embarrassing for him. 

"C'mon," Renjun says as he tugs Jaemin by the arm to distract him from saying any further embarrassing comments about the house, "the kitchen is my favorite part of the house. You'll love it." 

Other than his room, it is Renjun's favorite part of the mansion. It's where he has spent a lot of his waking hours in the mansion. It holds the most memories for him. He still has a mission to fulfil, after all, he still has to show Jaemin around the town and of course, he had to show him around the mansion at one point or another. Plus, Jaemin did insist on helping him pack up the rest of their belongings so it's really hitting two birds with one stone. 

The kitchen is huge, with marble counters and huge stove ovens. The fridge can be filled with better food, but Renjun hasn't really been cooking a lot these days. He's busier now, showing Jaemin all the restaurants and eateries but he did stock up just a little for today. "Mama used to host a lot of parties for the community, so this kitchen is always bustling with people." Renjun pulls away from Jaemin to jog over to the backdoor. "And you can see here, it's connected to the garden where we usually hosted the gatherings." 

"That's amazing, why didn't the community continue with something like that?" Jaemin asks, walking towards him and Renjun meets him in the middle. They settle on one of the kitchen islands, with Renjun's back pressed against the solid material and Jaemin caging him in. They don't have to be this intimate, but it's just them anyway⏤no one's stopping them. 

Renjun shrugs. "The times have changed, the kids grew up and the adults became busy. The town was really close back then, I'm not sure if I can say the same thing now." 

Jaemin nods in understanding, more than anyone, it's Jaemin that understands change. Renjun doesn't like the solemn mood, nor the topic of the past. He wants to focus on the now⏤on the remaining time that they have in their hands. So, he wraps his arms around Jaemin's waist, pouts up at him as he speaks. "Didn't you promise to cook for me?" 

Jaemin's face effectively breaks out into a smile, a hand coming up to cup his chin and Renjun leans his face up in the perfect angle to meet Jaemin's mouth in a kiss. But it doesn't come. "Do you even have food in your fridge?" Jaemin asks teasingly, a Cheshire grin on his lips as he pulls away from Renjun. 

Renjun bats him away, shoves him playfully to the fridge and dares him. "Look at it! I stocked up on food." 

Jaemin nods and Renjun's heart beats hard in his chest at how much he anticipated that kiss. He'll get his revenge, for sure. 

"Alright, sit tight and let me cook for you." 

Renjun hops on the counter, sitting with his legs dangling out. "Okay, I'll watch you." 

Jaemin sends a wink his way. 

He wonders how this day will turn out. 

After lunch, they manage to come out of the food coma to start cleaning the mansion. They clean it up from top to bottom, vacuuming the floors and even fluffing the pillows of the empty bedrooms. Renjun has attempted to do this by himself multiple times, but failed each time. He's not sure if it's the tedious task itself or if it's his deep-rooted sadness that's hindering him from finishing his tasks but with Jaemin, it comes easier. 

Because with Jaemin, work doesn't feel like work. They have fun together, and even as Renjun wipes down the windows, Jaemin is right under him to support the ladder, making him laugh so that he doesn't feel too tired. It feels great to spend time with Jaemin, and if Renjun thinks too much about it, he'll think of how domestic this is⏤he'll think of how much Jaemin fits into his childhood home, how he fits into every crevice of Renjun's past and present. If he lets his brain run too much, he'll think of the possibility of staying back here with Jaemin and he can't let that happen. 

Renjun brushes off that thought immediately. 

He shows Jaemin all the pictures too, and even if he didn't want to, Jaemin finds all his baby pictures and gushes over them. Renjun argues with Jaemin about them, about how he's really not  _ that  _ cute as a child but in the end, Jaemin ends up slotting a childhood picture of Renjun in his wallet anyway. 

Renjun also shows Jaemin the pictures of his parents, he tells him about the love they had for him, about the adventures they took him on and the fond memories he had with them. It's not painful to talk about them anymore, he still misses them⏤but rather than the grief he used to feel while reminiscing about his parents, there's a certain sense of nostalgia and love that overwhelms him. Especially since Jaemin listens to him so well, pays all of his attention to him like every story he has is precious. 

Renjun thinks this is the most he has opened up to someone, and by the time he has run out of stories to tell, dinnertime has rolled around. 

But Jaemin pipes, "Wait, before we eat⏤can I shower? I feel super sweaty from all the cleaning." 

Renjun pushes himself up from the floor, moving the boxes of pictures to the side. "Of course, there's a bathroom in my room. I have clothes too." 

That’s how he ends up leading Jaemin up to his room, up the grand staircase and down the hallway to the right. He's filled with nervosity all of a sudden, reminded of the fact that this is the first time he's showing his boyfriend his room. In fact, there haven't been a lot of people that have made it past Renjun's door. The mansion is huge, and there's always room to hangout. Renjun's room had always been private, like a sanctuary that's only for him⏤yet here he is. 

"Don't judge me," Renjun says as he holds the doorknob, glancing up at Jaemin who's only smiling at him, "it's a bit messy." 

It's half a lie. Renjun cleaned his room up before Jaemin came over. He changed his sheets, shoved dirty laundry into this hamper, scrubbed the bathroom tiles. His  _ boyfriend _ is coming over. There's no way such  _ thoughts _ crossed his mind. He thinks it's always better to be prepared. 

Renjun pushes those thoughts away and leads Jaemin inside. "Wow," Jaemin says in that tone that is only his and Renjun playfully nudges his hip. 

Save from his bed, his desk and his clothes, a lot of his stuff is already packed in boxes. But there's still the art pieces hanging on the bedroom walls, the stuffed toys sitting on a shelf and mementos gathered from all the trips Renjun has had in his life. He still wants to have a piece of himself in his room while he still lives there, that's why he has put off packing them until the last minute. 

Jaemin looks around, the silent permission given by Renjun when he nudges him inside. Renjun closes the door behind him, then walks over to his closet to find clothes that will fit Jaemin. 

"Nice painting," Jaemin says as he sits down on Renjun's bed, nodding his head to the art piece hanging above it. Renjun smiles to himself, gathering clothes that he thinks will fit Jaemin in his arms.

He feels it, that slight awkwardness that's reminiscent of teenage shyness. It's funny that he has to hold back a laugh⏤yet he's too nervous to say anything because he knows Jaemin is thinking what he's thinking too. 

"Go shower," Renjun says as he stands in front of Jaemin, plopping the bunch of clothes into his lap, "then we eat." 

Jaemin pouts, but stands up anyway, the clothes gathered into his hands. "Fine, you wouldn't even let me admire your room for a minute." 

Renjun runs a hand over Jaemin's face, successfully eliciting a protest from the other but he pushes him away and towards the bathroom door before he can even say anything. "Towels are in the cupboard under the sink."

When Jaemin has disappeared behind the door and when he can hear the shower running, Renjun finally breathes. 

He jumps into his bed, hugs his pillow and smiles to himself. It's been so long since he last felt like this, since he last felt this excited to have someone around. He wonders if he's even allowed to feel like this, wonders if he's breaking any rules because it feels too good to be legal. 

Showing Jaemin the mansion, taking him up to his room, Renjun feels as if he has shown Jaemin all of him. It's refreshing. He's not as scared as he used to be, but he still feels nervous from the sheer excitement of it all. 

He grabs the remote from his nightstand and turns on the television in his room, mindlessly chooses a movie to keep his brain away from thinking too much. 

_ It's just you and your boyfriend in the mansion. Alone in your room.  _

He doesn't think he has much success anyway, because he still ends up shoving a pillow on his lap to save some dignity. God, has he always been this… horny? 

The movie is way into the introduction when Jaemin comes out of the shower. Renjun turns his head to look at Jaemin and he almost regrets it. His hair is wet, a towel around his shoulders as he dries it. He looks so fucking good in Renjun's clothes, and it's just his oversized sweater which Jaemin's shoulders filled out nicely, and the sweatpants that had been a gift from a relative but ended up being way too big on him. Jaemin looks immaculate. 

"Hey," Jaemin grins, crawling over to him on the bed until he has crowded him with his arms. Renjun pretends to groan, wriggling out of his hold. 

"Jaemin, c'mon. I haven't showered yet." 

"Don't care," Jaemin mumbles, nuzzling his nose against Renjun's neck, "I want cuddles." 

"Why are you so cuddly after you shower?" Renjun asks, but lets Jaemin cuddle anyway. He kind of feels gross for not showering yet, but if Jaemin likes him like this⏤he really couldn't care less. 

"Why not?" Jaemin says in defense, as if that is enough. And with the way that Jaemin's warm breath fans over his neck, he really might just believe him. 

Renjun sighs and nods. "You're right." 

Jaemin lets out a hum and they move around until they find a comfortable position to cuddle and watch the movie at the same time. They both decided against cooking and ordered food at the only pizza delivery service in town. It won't be coming for an hour, so really, they have time to burn. 

Halfway through the movie, it seems like their ideas meet in the middle without even voicing it out. 

Jaemin is touchy. That's something he has learned from the get go, but with the ambience of the room and the entire atmosphere like this, he gets even increasingly so. Renjun feels the light pecks on his shoulder, the hand on his thigh, they're all like little flickers of flames licking him up until he begins to feel warm all over. 

"Jaemin," he scolds once, but without much meaning to it as he keeps his eyes steady on the movie. He doesn't even know what's going on anymore. 

"Mhm?" Jaemin hums from where he's kissing Renjun's shoulder. 

"If you need something, just say it." 

That causes Jaemin to pull away, laughing slightly as he tilts his head at Renjun. Renjun is looking at him with a deep set frown. "I don't think I'm the only one that needs it, Injunnie." 

Neither of them are innocent. They've kissed in the office, made out in Renjun's car, at the sea when they think no one is looking. They've talked about this before, and they both know one day the heated make out sessions with thighs pressed in between legs would lead up to this. Renjun just didn't think it would be this tender and infuriating at the same time. 

"You're so annoying." Is all Renjun says before he lunges forward to kiss Jaemin on the mouth. Jaemin laughs into the kiss when they meet in the middle, experienced hands grabbing Renjun's hips until he's straddling him. 

Renjun's legs are snug around Jaemin's waist, their kisses not sparing a moment to be soft and chaste. Jaemin may have patience for him in several things, but when it comes to this, they're two fire signs crashing until they've been consumed by their own flames. 

Jaemin swipes his tongue along Renjun's bottom lip, urging him to open his mouth and Renjun relents without much fight. Jaemin licks along the roof his mouth, sucks on his tongue and effectively reduces him to a moaning mess. 

Renjun, never the one to admit defeat so easily, puts up his own fight. His hands find purchase underneath the sweater, travelling upwards until they find their place on Jaemin's waist. Jaemin notices this and pulls away from the kiss so Renjun can shuck it off of him. As much as he likes seeing Jaemin in his clothes, he thinks that Jaemin without it would be a much better sight in this context. 

The sweater gets thrown to the side, and in the moment where they share eye contact—with Jaemin's eyes blown wide open, Renjun realizes something. "Was saying you needed a shower a ploy for you to get in my bedroom?" 

Jaemin bats his eyelashes, feigns shock and innocence but bursts out laughing anyway. "Well—I wasn't expecting you'd bite it but—" 

"Oh my gosh," Renjun groans, "how did I fall for this?" 

Jaemin maneuvers them until he has Renjun under him, this time it's him hovering above him. "Sorry, baby. I guess you just couldn't resist my charms." Jaemin jokes as he dips lower to press kisses down Renjun's jaw and Renjun is helpless but to bare his neck for him too. 

Renjun hums low in his throat as Jaemin suckles on the skin on his neck, licking the spots where he has marked him to soothe the sensation down with his tongue. Renjun can feel his pants getting tighter just with every kiss. There had been times when he jerked off by himself after hot make out sessions with Jaemin and now that they're here—his dick is definitely happy with how this is turning out. 

"Baby," Jaemin mumbles against the dip in his collarbones, "how far do you want to take this?" 

That's all it takes for Renjun to get some sense of clarity. If they take this to the next level, this is going to be their first time together and Renjun wishes it could have been slightly more romantic. Then again, just having Jaemin in his room is romantic enough. 

Renjun props himself up on his elbows so he can look at Jaemin. Jaemin sits back on the soles of his feet and waits patiently for an answer. "As far as you can take, baby."

It's always Jaemin that uses the pet names, and when Renjun uses it, it's sure to reduce Jaemin to putty. It works, because Jaemin's ears are red, pupils dilated and his hands are cold where they're touching Renjun under his shirt. Without missing a beat, Jaemin replies. "And if I say that I want you to fuck me until I can't walk, would that be okay?" 

Renjun feels his dick twitch at the blunt words, and his brain immediately paints a picture of his dick buried up Jaemin's ass and now he's completely monkey brained. Renjun swallows hard, nods so fast he feels his neck cramp. "Yes, fuck. Jesus christ—Jaemin _."  _

Jaemin only laughs, pushing Renjun back down on the bed as he plants another kiss on his lips. "Good, but I wanna blow you first."

How can he even survive the rest of the night when just Jaemin talking to him like this is sending him into overdrive? He throws his head back down on the bed, suppressing a groan when Jaemin pushes his shirt up so that he kisses below his belly button. He angles his neck enough so that he can look at Jaemin literally going down on him, and with his long eyelashes fluttering against the skin of Renjun's stomach, he knows he has the least chance of survival for tonight. 

Jaemin's kisses are light as a feather, but Renjun feels them all the way to the tips of his toes. Every slight touch makes him curl his toes and his hands find purchase on the pillow under his head. 

Jaemin works tantalizingly slow, as if they had all the time in the world. He kisses on the skin around his pelvis, pulling his pants down ever so slightly to reveal the sensitive skin there. Renjun's cock is straining against the fabric of his pants, and he knows this isn't unknown to Jaemin because of the stupid smirk on his face. 

"Jaemin," Renjun mumbles, gathering all his willpower not to thrust his hips up for some friction, "stop⏤teasing, god." 

"So impatient." Jaemin blinks up at him, eyes bright like he isn't making Renjun feel so sinful under his gaze. "Good things come to those who wait. Right?" 

Renjun twists under Jaemin, drawing his knees up and parting his legs to give Jaemin more space. "Jaemin, if the pizza comes and I haven't fucked you yet, that's going to be on you." 

The threat seems to do nothing for Jaemin, because now, he has his hands holding Renjun's waist, pinning him down on the bed. "You're so pretty, so gorgeous." He whispers praises against Renjun's skin and he flushes from how intimate it is. 

Renjun is about to open his mouth to retort, but Jaemin pulls his pants and underwear down without warning. It's almost embarrassing how his cock springs free from the restraints, curving up his stomach and the fascinated sounds Jaemin lets out aren't helping either. 

"This is unfair," Jaemin whines, wraps a hand around Renjun's girth and the sudden friction makes Renjun hiss, thrusting up into Jaemin's palm, "even your dick is fucking pretty."

"Jaemin," Renjun's voice breaks when he speaks, practically begging as Jaemin strokes him lazily. He's fully hard now, and yet he still feels increasingly aroused with the way Jaemin stares at him. "Please, stop teasing—" 

Jaemin chuckles, shaking his head. "So impatient yet so polite. I like it." 

It takes everything in Renjun to keep his eyes open. He just needs to commit this to memory. Renjun bites his lower lip, watches with wide eyes as Jaemin spits on the tip of his dick. His cock reacts to the warm liquid, twitching in Jaemin's hold as the swollen tip glistens with precum and spit. Jaemin is going to end him right there and then and Renjun doesn't even mind. 

"D'you—" Renjun breathes out, struggling as Jaemin kisses the tip, drags his open mouthed kisses down to the underside of his length as his free hand works at the base. "Do you need lube?" 

Jaemin looks so focused that Renjun doubts he has heard him. But Jaemin responds, shakes his head and chances a smile up at him. "Later, baby."

And then, Jaemin puts Renjun's cock in his mouth. 

Like the stories he told him, Jaemin is fucking good at this. The heat is amazing, Jaemin's bobbing his head up and down as his tongue circles Renjun's dick inside his mouth. Renjun is just staring at him wide eyed and he's glad that Jaemin has his eyes closed, cheeks hollowed around his cock, because he's sure he looks absolutely ridiculous right now. 

Jaemin goes deeper, and Renjun feels the tip of his dick brush along the hilt of Jaemin's throat. He moans, fights the urge to thrust his hips because he doesn't want to hurt Jaemin when he's being so good to him. Like this, with Jaemin's mouth full of his cock and his lips swollen, he wonders how someone can make giving head look like a work of art. 

Renjun knows he isn't that big, but he's confident enough not to be insecure about it, confident enough to know that Jaemin might be having slight trouble but Jaemin is fucking flawless. 

Jaemin releases him with a pop, licking his lips before he goes back down on him to lick on the thick vein under his dick. Renjun swears he's starting to see stars. 

"J-Jaemin," Renjun warns, somehow finds it in him to pat Jaemin on the arm. Jaemin pulls away from him, but his hand still pumps lazily at the base and even with that fucked out look on his face, Jaemin looks like an angel. 

"All good, baby?" 

"Yeah, you're so fucking good—" Renjun used to remember the last time he had someone give him a blowjob, but now, he's pretty sure all memories of his sexual encounters pre-Jaemin have been wiped out. Catching his breath, Renjun drags Jaemin up to his level to kiss him. Jaemin allows him, hovering above him until Jaemin's abs brushes against Renjun's hardness. 

"But I think I'm gonna cum, so—your turn?" 

Jaemin nods and leans forward to give him a quick kiss. "Let's get rid of these first," he says decisively before he rids Renjun of his shirt and helps him take his pants all the way off. The clothes meet with the floor, and the two of them find a way to move so that Jaemin is lying down now. Renjun reaches over to the nightstand, fumbles around the last drawer for condoms and the bottle of lube. He retrieves them and settles in between Jaemin's legs, only then does he realize that Jaemin has been staring at him this entire time. 

"What?" Renjun asks with a slight laugh, nudging Jaemin's knees up as he undoes the tie of the sweatpants. Jaemin's dick is imprinting on the cloth, and Renjun's mouth is watering just at the sight of it. 

Jaemin shakes his head, leans his head back on the pillow and lets Renjun do his thing. "Nothing, just thinking how someone so gorgeous can be with me like this." 

Renjun hits him on the leg, cheeks flushed both from the physical activities and the words that have just left Jaemin’s mouth. “You’re kidding,” he says, leaning forward so that both his hands are on either side of Jaemin’s head. Jaemin smiles up at him, unblinking and unnerving. As if he’s taking in all of Renjun and Renjun doesn’t really have the capability to turn away even if he wanted to. Jaemin is mesmerizing, enchanting like that.

“You should look at yourself.” Renjun tosses the compliment back, dipping his head to kiss Jaemin on the lips, only to pull away after a fraction of a second to trail the kisses down to his jawline. “You’re fucking perfect.”

Jaemin whines underneath him, barely above a whisper but Renjun hears it due to their proximity. “Now,  _ up. _ So I can show you just exactly how you make me feel.” Renjun orders, pulling away as he taps Jaemin’s hips with both hands. Jaemin obliges, bucking his hips up for Renjun to pull his pants away.

He doesn’t waste more time pulling Jaemin’s pants off of him in record time. Jaemin's dick springs free from the garment, curling up against his abs and Renjun has to swallow as he tosses the pants away from the bed. 

Jaemin has never been shy, and even with Renjun's eyes on him, even with Renjun pushing his legs open, Jaemin doesn't back down. "Do you like what you see, baby?" 

Renjun laughs, wraps his hand around Jaemin's girth in an attempt to shut him up. "Of course, baby. Gorgeous. Can't wait to fuck you." 

Jaemin whines after a particularly hard tug on his cock, and Renjun lets him go to pour lube onto his fingers. He warms the lube first, watches as Jaemin screws his eyes shut to brace himself for the stretch. Jaemin looks good all the time, but there's something about Jaemin looking good enough to eat like this has Renjun's toes curling. 

Renjun bends down so he's close enough to Jaemin's hole, his lips a breath away from the base of Jaemin's cock. "Can I suck your dick while I prep you?" 

Jaemin whimpers underneath him, nodding his head as he bites down on his lower lip. The effect he has on Jaemin is almost dizzying. “You don’t have to ask for permission⏤my god⏤”

But before Jaemin can even say anything else, Renjun has his lips wrapped around the tip of Jaemin’s cock as he looks up at Jaemin through his eyelashes. Jaemin is starting to become loud, his noises filling the walls of Renjun’s room and the muddled praises coming from Jaemin all go straight to Renjun’s dick. Renjun sucks on the tip, pushes his head down and wraps his hand around the part that he cannot reach. Jaemin is already moaning, evening out his breathing and Renjun pulls away with a pop.

Wordlessly, Renjun pushes Jaemin’s leg up by his knee, and Jaemin understands easily as he hooks his arms under his leg, giving Renjun access to his hole. Renjun rubs the lube on his fingers once more, before he presses them against Jaemin’s rim and Jaemin’s back practically arches off the bed at the touch. 

“Renjun⏤” Jaemin whines, his other hand that isn’t hooked under his leg grasping at Renjun. Renjun scoots closer, if that is still humanly possible, and joins his hand with Jaemin’s, fingers intertwining as they rest above Jaemin’s abdomen. “Please, I’m ready⏤put your fingers in me.”

And really, if Jaemin is already asking so nicely, Renjun doesn’t think he can deny him any further. He nods, slowly works his middle finger into Jaemin and watches, mesmerized as Jaemin takes him in so well. He doesn’t know when the last time Jaemin has bottomed, so he wants to be careful, doesn’t want to hurt Jaemin and he wants Jaemin to feel good. He wants Jaemin to know exactly how he makes him feel. 

“Ah⏤” Jaemin lets out and Renjun looks up at him with concerned eyes. 

“Good?”

“Yeah,” Jaemin opens his eyes, strains his neck so that he can smile up at him, “just⏤been a while, so… you can add another finger now.”

Renjun nods eagerly, brings up the hand that’s holding Jaemin’s and kisses Jaemin’s knuckles. Jaemin smiles, rests his head back down on the pillow and Renjun does as he’s told. He inserts another finger, this time the slide is easier and Jaemin is completely putty in his hands. 

Jaemin’s hold on his hand grows tighter by the second, and Renjun carefully works him open. He’s a bit clumsy with his hands, but he’s done this before, both to himself and to others that he should know enough how it works. And with Jaemin’s reactions, it seems like he’s doing well.

He fucks Jaemin with two fingers, his dick growing harder as he imagines how amazing it’d be to bury himself inside Jaemin. But he can’t be impatient, can’t risk injuring Jaemin or something like that. But Jaemin has always been eager.

“Jun,” Jaemin gasps from underneath him, and Renjun’s eyes fly up to meet him.

“Yeah?”

“You can… go harder, you know? I’m not going to break. Look at me, I can take it.”

Renjun nods and scoots forward, which drives his fingers deeper into Jaemin’s ass and Jaemin lets out a loud moan at that. Renjun feels like he’s burning all over, he knows he’s taking it slow for Jaemin, to make sure he’s properly prepped and comfortable but he’s also taking it slow for himself. With how Jaemin feels just with his fingers in him, he’s afraid that he might cum just by thrusting his cock into him.

Jaemin’s giggling now, which must have brought a confused look on Renjun’s face because now Jaemin releases his hand and uses his now free hand to tuck Renjun’s hair behind his ear. “See? That’s much better isn’t it?” Jaemin breathes out, and Renjun nods. 

“You’re right⏤I, um, uh⏤” 

“Put another finger in me, then  _ please,  _ fuck me properly because I seriously think I’m going to cum soon.”

Renjun smiles, removes his fingers completely and pushes Jaemin back down on the bed. “Of course, baby. Just give me a little time, okay? I’ll fuck you properly.” 

Jaemin lies down on the bed without much fight, adjusting so that his hips are aligned with Renjun’s again. “Okay, better do it soon then.”

Renjun grabs the condom and the bottle of lube again, tears the packet apart and slides it down his cock. The friction makes him hiss, and he’s aware of Jaemin’s watching eyes all this time. 

He pumps the lube on his hands again, rubs it along the length of his cock and wipes the remnants along Jaemin’s ass. Jaemin has his legs hiked up with his arms again, his stretched hole clenching and unclenching in front of Renjun and it takes everything in him not to plunge into him right there and then. 

Renjun stretches him for a few more moments, doing as he's told until Jaemin grabs his arm with a firm grip. Jaemin has a clouded look in his eyes, cheeks flushed red as his stomach flexes from the way he's holding it in. Jaemin's cock is leaking precum, and Renjun reaches out to pump him for some relief. 

"Mhm, gorgeous—please, fuck me now—"

Renjun obliges, he leans forward so that he’s hovering over Jaemin. Despite himself, Jaemin is smiling lazily at him, fingers stroking along his arm and Renjun can’t help but kiss that grin off his face. 

Renjun aligns himself with Jaemin, bottoms out with one smooth thrust and sucks on Jaemin’s tongue at the same time to help with the sting. Jaemin hisses underneath him, trying his hardest to keep up with the kiss and Renjun is doing his best not to lose his mind at how amazing the heat around him is.

"Oh fuck—" Jaemin whines when they pull away, slamming his head back on the pillow and Renjun dips down to leave love bites on his neck. 

"Tell me if I can move." Renjun whines against the exposed skin, teeth grazing upon the red bruises on Jaemin's neck. He knows it's going to be there for weeks on end, the mark will still be there even if he isn't and the thought turns Renjun on even more. 

Jaemin clenches around him, gripping Renjun's arms where he can reach him. Renjun's entire body shudders at the sudden contraction around his cock, elbows giving out that he collapses on top of Jaemin in a second. "Jaemin, oh my god, I'm going to cum if you keep doing that." 

Jaemin is a mess, sweat sticking to his forehead from exertion and cheeks flushed red. Yet, Jaemin grins. "You can move now, fuck me like you mean it gorgeous." 

Renjun does as he's told. He licks his lips, pulls away from where he collapsed against Jaemin and moves until only the tip of his cock is buried into Jaemin's ass. He commits the image to memory—then, he slams back in. 

Jaemin is not a silent lover, Renjun has learned that quite a while ago. It's always Jaemin telling him compliments, always Jaemin introducing him first as his boyfriend. It's always Jaemin that renders him speechless, and even in bed, Renjun learns that Jaemin is not a silent lover with the loud moan that rips out from him. 

It will be a lie to say that Renjun has never thought of having Jaemin like this. In fact, he has thought about this scenario in so many different ways yet the fantasies in his mind cannot compare to the real thing. They cannot compare to the way Jaemin looks with his eyes closed, lips parted open as he moans Renjun's name like a prayer. They cannot compare to the way Jaemin's deep moans join the sound of skin slapping against skin as Renjun finds the steady rhythm of his hips to fuck into him. They cannot compare to the way Jaemin feels around Renjun, the way his entire body has engulfed Renjun like flames and he is helpless but to let him ravish him. Renjun is setting the pace, yet it feels like Jaemin has him under his spell. 

"Renjun!" Jaemin cries out, a hand twisting into the sheets underneath him and the other coming up to grab at the back of Renjun's head to kiss him. 

Renjun's pace doesn't falter, the movement of his hips grow more frantic as his hands hold Jaemin's hips so tight it will bruise. The pleasure runs from his abdomen to the tips of his toes, it brushes up to the back of his neck and Renjun is so fucking close. 

"Jaemin, baby, gorgeous⏤fuck, you feel so good. I'm going to cum." Renjun mumbles messily into the kiss that's more tongue than lips.

Jaemin swallows his words, presses the soles of his feet down on the bed and lifts his hips off the bed. The angle is insane for the both of them, it causes Renjun to drive deeper into the spot where Jaemin needs him to be. And, with the way Jaemin's incoherently speaking something that resembles his name, he knows he's close too. 

"Me too⏤touch me, please. Please, please." 

It's difficult to resist giving Jaemin everything he wants when he looks like this, when he's practically begging for it. Renjun continues the roll of his hips, his cock dragging along Jaemin's walls, brushing at the spot that has his lover keening underneath him. 

Renjun wraps a firm hand around Jaemin's girth, tugs a few times in the same rhythm he slams his cock back into Jaemin's ass. The heart-stopping second comes. The pleasure turns to electricity, spurts of white paint Jaemin's stomach and Renjun's hand, Jaemin clenches down around Renjun's cock and Renjun sees white as he spills into the condom inside Jaemin. 

They cum at the same time, Renjun's ears ringing and cock throbbing as he ruts against Jaemin to ride their orgasms out. They're breathing heavily, foreheads pressed against each other. It doesn't take too long before they're laughing. 

"Fuck," Jaemin curses, locking his ankles around Renjun's waist to keep him close, "that was amazing, baby." 

Renjun manages to look up at Jaemin with the little strength he has left, struggles as he tries to get away to clean them up but Jaemin's legs don't allow him to move.  _ "You _ are amazing, but c'mon—I gotta clean us up. I hate dried cum."

Jaemin pouts, scrunches his nose as he seems to mull it over. "Fine, I'll let you go—but can you call me  _ that _ one more time?" 

Renjun raises a brow, tries to remember what he said in the last few minutes but all he can remember is the mind-blowing pleasure that has surged through him. "Call you what?" 

Jaemin blushes evidently, chewing on his bottom lip and Renjun brushes the hair out of his face. "Gorgeous? Can you call me Gorgeous? Can that be our pet name?" 

Renjun can't help the smile on his face even if he tried, he can't help but pepper Jaemin's face in kisses even if he tried. He can't help a lot of things when it comes to Jaemin and that is just something he has to live with now. "Of course—" a kiss to his nose, "why are you acting so shy now?" Another to his cheeks. "You're my _ Gorgeous. _ So can you please let me go so I can clean us up?" 

"Fine, but come back quickly, Gorgeous." 

After Renjun has cleaned up and managed to convince Jaemin to shower again, they cuddle in bed with fresh clothes and wait for their food to come. Renjun knows he has to do laundry sooner rather than later, but lying in bed with his head against Jaemin's chest is far too comfortable for him to even consider moving away. 

They're snuggled together under the blankets, his arms wrapped around Jaemin's middle while Jaemin mindlessly runs his fingers through Renjun's hair. He’s never felt this close, this intimate with someone else. This is a moment that doesn’t come to life often, it’s a moment that Renjun has watched in movies and read in books, but he never thought it’ll ever be a moment he’ll find himself in.

Renjun sighs, inhaling the scent of his soap on Jaemin. Jaemin is alarmed by this, his hand stops stroking Renjun’s as he pulls away to look at him. “Are you okay?”

Renjun nods, nuzzles his head even further against Jaemin’s chest and nudges his hand to continue stroking his hair. “I just have some things on my mind.”

“Wanna talk about it?” Jaemin continues the action, it sends shivers down Renjun’s spine until he relaxes back into Jaemin’s hold.

“Hmm…” Renjun hums, looks up at Jaemin through his lashes and nods resolutely. “I have to tell you something.”

Jaemin sits up properly and drags Renjun up with him. They’re facing each other now, proximity and hearts so close to each other. Renjun still stands in between reality and dream⏤that he now has someone like Jaemin to bare his heart to, to bare his mind to, but the way Jaemin holds his hand is far too real for him to consider he’s dreaming.

“The thing is, I’m moving to the city because I got a big job offer there. It’s called the Bloom Team, a big graphic design company⏤and I was supposed to move to the city before the accident but things happened and… they held my employment until I was better. And, I got better. I want to be better⏤that’s why I really want to move to the city. It’s my dream.”

Jaemin looks at him intensely, his eyes speaking the words his lips can’t. He knows this is inevitable anyway, and Renjun hates ruining the mood, but he has to say it now rather than later too. He has to let Jaemin know. 

“Renjun, when I asked you to be my boyfriend. I knew why you were leaving. I can’t stop you. Even if I wanted to, I know you won’t.” Jaemin chokes up a little, swallows hard but continues anyway. Renjun can’t help but wonder how come he’s been blessed with someone like Jaemin?

“I know you have your dreams, and I support you like you support me. And⏤thank you for telling me. I appreciate it a lot.”

Renjun smiles, feels the sincerity drip from every syllable that comes out of Jaemin’s mouth. 

The words in his tongue linger, the words that they want to say are there in the air hanging around them but neither of them open up to say them out loud. Maybe they both fear it’s too soon, maybe they both fear that it’s too fast, but it’s unspoken and  _ understood. _

It’s something along the lines of  _ ‘I have put my heart in your hands and you are free to do whatever you want with it’ _ but they don’t say it. 

Jaemin smiles at him, leans forward to give him a quick kiss and they pull away when they hear the intercom ring. Their food has come. They both laugh, and Renjun pushes Jaemin away by the chest as he scrambles to get off the bed. “I’ll be back, you stay here.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

The waves have been treating Renjun better.

It’s that or he’s just getting better. The excellent mentor helps too, and perhaps the fact that he wants to impress Jaemin is the biggest motivator of it all.

Getting into the sea is the biggest challenge, but with the help of Jaemin motivating him to take literal baby steps into the body of water, it gets easier. First, they tried it without the surfboard—just so Renjun can familiarize himself with how the sea feels. Jaemin holds his hand the entire time, and Renjun only allows him to let go when he can confidently wade his way through the sea again. 

Initially, he planned on watching Jaemin surf as he paddles around the water—and the grace with which Jaemin stands up on his board is always so mesmerizing. Quite frankly, he’s amazed at how Jaemin is able to stand up straight despite their activities just a couple of days ago. Then again, he’s convinced that Jaemin can go surfing even if he’s running a fever.

But as he’s long since learned, Renjun’s life doesn’t go according to his plans. Somehow, Jaemin has convinced him to try and pick up the surfboard again. It’s terrifying, and he has a lot of worries—like what if the surfboard drags him underwater? What if he falls and hits his head against it? But more than his fear, his want—his need to impress and make Jaemin smile overwhelms all of it.

Jaemin has been so patient with him, and the least Renjun can do is try. 

He gets on a surfboard with Jaemin watching him closely and paddles to catch a wave. The wave that’s coming to meet him isn’t too big, not too intimidating but it brings a rush of thrill through his veins. Through the sound of the waves and the noises of the birds overhead, Renjun hears Jaemin cheering him on. 

“Come on, Gorgeous! You can do it!” 

With Jaemin’s constant encouragement and the newfound strength, Renjun steels himself, lays his palms flat on the board and then pushes himself up once he catches the wave. In one swift motion, Renjun has managed to stand up on his board—for the first time in his life. 

“Oh my god.” Renjun exclaims when he realizes what’s happening, when his brain finally catches up to his body and to his instincts. His position isn’t the best, and he’s crouching instead of standing up straight but he’s going. He’s moving forward, the waves are bringing him forward.

It feels magical, achieving something that has scared him for so long—finally making peace with the sea and the waves that come with it. So many things are going through his head, yet all Renjun can yell is: “Jaemin!” 

“You’re doing so well, Gorgeous!” Jaemin cheers back at him, alternating between clapping his hands and pumping his fists in the air. 

The waves cradle him back to the shore, and when he stops, falling ungracefully back into the sea, Jaemin is there to catch him.

They wash up after their brief but successful surfing lesson and Renjun, in exchange of Jaemin teaching him how to finally stand up on the board, takes Jaemin to his favorite restaurant in town.

Sure, The Anchor would be a great option for food and being around Soojung is always a delight but the joint doesn’t open until the evening so Renjun drags Jaemin somewhere else as equally meaningful.

The restaurant is called Yellow Corner, a small bistro right off the edge of the town center. It sits on the spot that’s walking distance from the high school he attended with Donghyuck, Yangyang and Xuxi. He’s spent a majority of his high school life eating here with his friends after classes end. It still looks the same since their graduation, but this time, instead of his friends, he’s sitting across Jaemin.

He tells Jaemin about his memories here. He tells him about the time they all got kicked out of the restaurant because they were laughing too hard about something none of them can even remember. He tells Jaemin of the birthdays celebrated in the restaurant, the tears shed as they comforted each other because of flunked tests, the restaurant tells Jaemin of Renjun’s entire teenage and Renjun isn’t one bit embarrassed to share it with him.

“I would love to meet Donghyuck and Yangyang one day.” Jaemin says thoughtfully, lips wrapped around his bendy straw. Jaemin has a mango milkshake, and Renjun ordered the strawberry milkshake. 

Renjun thinks about it, hums as he imagines the three of them together in one room. Jaemin got together well with Xuxi, but the thought of Jaemin, Yangyang and Donghyuck in one room gives a full body shiver that he blames on the cold milkshake. “Well—” Renjun inhales through his teeth, “I’m kind of terrified—but I think you’ll like them.”

They break out into laughter, feet brushing against each other as they try to move impossibly closer despite the table in between them. The moment is so tender, that it almost reminds him of his youth. But this is the now, and Jaemin is here with him in his present, the adult him.

Reality grabs him from the back of his head, coming in the form of a sudden phone call. Renjun fumbles to grab his phone from the table, the moment broken and Jaemin sits back on his chair, poking at his hamburger.

“Hi?” He answers the unknown number, looking at Jaemin with as much confusion.

Usually, he doesn’t answer unknown numbers but there’s a possibility that it may be the buyer of the house so he has to begrudgingly entertain calls. “Hello, is this Mr. Huang Renjun?”

The voice is familiar, like he has heard it somewhere before but not enough for him to immediately recognize it. “Yes? May I know who I’m speaking to?”

“Hello! I’m Sooyoung from the Bloom Team. I would just like to ask if you’re available for a phone call regarding your Senior Graphic Designer position at our company? It won’t take too long, I just need to verify some details before your arrival in the next couple of weeks.”

“Huh… Bloom Team…” His eyes naturally wander over to Jaemin, who’s now staring down at his food at the mention of the company. 

It isn’t that Jaemin doesn’t know that Renjun is moving to the city for the job offer. After their night together at the mansion, Renjun has told Jaemin everything about it. But now that the reality of their situation has presented itself at a time they least expected, it’s all a bit too disconcerting to deal with in the heat of the moment.

“Right, okay. Can you hold for a minute?” Renjun asks, stumbling to get out of the booth. Sooyoung tells him it’s alright, so he covers the receiver of his phone and looks at Jaemin. 

“I’ll just have to discuss for a second, is that okay?”

Jaemin nods, a solemn smile on his face, an expression that Renjun can’t quite place. “Of course. Go ahead and take your time.”

Renjun excuses himself for a while, stands away from their table and finds a spot near the restrooms for some semblance of privacy. Sooyoung talks to him about the details of his move, about the things that he will have to look forward to and about the responsibilities that await him in the office. Renjun confirms his knowledge of all of this, having received an e-mail prior to this. The Bloom Team is very hands-on, he concludes and there’s a thrum of excitement in his chest at the thought of working for them soon.

“That’s wonderful,” Sooyoung says when she finishes informing him, “we can’t wait to have you join the team, Mr. Huang.”

“Me too,” Renjun replies, smiling unknowingly, “thank you for the call, Ms. Sooyoung.”

Sooyoung ends the call on a bright note, and Renjun skips back over to Jaemin. Suddenly, the feeling of excitement is gone as quickly as it had come. The sight of Jaemin’s slumped shoulders, his downcast eyes and the general tension in the atmosphere are all enough to tell Renjun what’s happening.

But then again—they knew what they were getting into, didn’t they? They signed up for this. 

“You okay, Gorgeous?” Renjun asks as he slides back into the booth, reaching out to hold Jaemin’s hand across the table. It’s an attempt to relieve the tension, make the weird feeling around them go away. He’s aware that it’s the impending separation that’s making them like this, but they agreed didn’t they? They both talked it out, they both knew what each other wanted and they compromised. 

Then, why does it already hurt?

Jaemin smiles, turns his hand over so that he can clasp Renjun’s hand in his. “Yup. I’m just still upset you got the strawberry milkshake. It might be your one vital flaw, honestly.”

“Hey—”

They bury the imminent conversation for another day, brush off the elephant in the room and proceed with the lighter conversation they were having earlier. 

Renjun still has time, and for now, Renjun wants to bask in this feeling. 

Jaemin allows him.

“The office is looking neat, you guys!” Renjun claps his hand against Xuxi’s back, stumbling as he gets lifted up to his feet by Xuxi’s bone crushing hug. 

The surfing school has been undergoing last minute reservations, as per Renjun’s suggestions on how to make the interior more appealing to the public eye. Jaemin’s plastering picture frames on the walls, and Renjun takes special notice of the picture of Jaemin, Jeno and Xuxi in that international surfing competition where they all met.

“Put me down.” He demands, making grabby hands at Jaemin to save him from the giant hauling him onto his shoulders. “I swear, Xuxi!”

Jaemin only smiles at him as he walks over to where they are, having finished putting up the last of the frames to decorate the once plain walls. The school looks livelier now, looks like it’s more ready to face the opening not too long from now. Surfboards are aligned and kept properly outside, there are banners lining the doors and the windows to welcome their first clients. It paints such a lovely picture. It’s only such a shame that Renjun is leaving town the same day the school opens.

“Let him go, he’s deathly afraid of heights.” 

“I am not afraid of heights.” Renjun retorts as Xuxi puts him down, he pushes the laughing Xuxi away as he stalks away from him. He turns to Jaemin with a frown. “I thought you were on my side? Why are you siding with Xuxi?”

“Sheesh,” Xuxi exclaims, hands raised up in surrender, “leave me out of the couple fights, please.”

Jaemin lets out an incredulous laugh, nudging Xuxi with his shoulder as he passes by him on his way to smother Renjun in a hug. Renjun whines when Jaemin wraps his arms around him but doesn’t do much to get him off anyway. “You’re the reason why we’re fighting, Xuxi! I was defending your honor.”

“So you’re defending Xuxi’s honor but not mine? What kind of boyfriend are you?!” Renjun teases, elbows Jaemin on the ribs and effectively pushes him away. Jaemin jokingly doubles over in pain and grabs Renjun by the hips to apologize but Renjun has already hopped away to continue arranging the decorations in the office.

Xuxi shakes his head at them. “Anyway, thank you so much for helping us decorate the office, Junjun! What would we do without you, seriously?” From the other end of the room, Xuxi dusts the furniture and Jaemin stands in the middle, looking around as he nods in agreement. 

Renjun shrugs. “Probably have a half-assed grand opening?”

It’s a joke, because Xuxi and Jaemin have done a good job of decorating the place to their own tastes. All Renjun did was coordinate them so they don’t look too clashing. He can already feel that the business partners will work well together and he is excited to see where their dreams can take them.

Jaemin has somehow managed to find his way back to Renjun, because he finds arms wrapped around him in no time. Renjun rolls his eyes. “He’s right, why don’t you stay with us until we open? Why don’t you stay forever?”

Silence falls in the office. There’s a tension that rises and even Xuxi feels it. 

“Well,” Xuxi clears his throat, checking his watch and backing slowly out of the office. “I’ve⏤uh, a meeting to catch so⏤gotta go. See you guys later!”

Just like that, Xuxi is gone out of the door but the tension remains. Renjun pries Jaemin’s arms away from him, a forced laugh coming out of his chest. “What do you mean?”

Jaemin steps forward, gathering Renjun’s hands into his. He has an expression Renjun can't read no matter how hard he tries. It feels like something is going to erupt any moment now and Renjun is bracing himself for the impact.

“I was just thinking… you worked so well helping us around here. And… what if we need your help again? I mean, working with us isn’t so bad right?”

Renjun frowns and grabs at Jaemin’s wrist, pulling his hands away from him. “What are you talking about? You’re kidding right?”

He doesn’t understand where this is coming from. They’ve talked about this, and Renjun has bared his deepest feelings and thoughts to Jaemin about moving away from the town so why is Jaemin suddenly acting like this? 

When Jaemin doesn’t reply, and only looks at the ground, Renjun’s heart drops to his stomach. “Jaemin… you know what I want.”

Jaemin sighs. “I know what you want… I know I won’t change your mind but I didn’t want to let you go without trying to make you stay.”

"But you knew this—you knew this when you asked me to become your boyfriend. I told you, back at the mansion, right? What happened to you supporting me like I support you?" 

Renjun isn't angry, he's upset, and his heart is shattering in all the ways he's known before. He always knew that this was going to come, that this conversation or argument was something that they were going to have. Maybe he has been foolish for putting it off for so long, maybe he's been selfish to not think of how Jaemin feels. But it doesn't make sense⏤they're adults, they understand their circumstances, why must it be this hard? 

Jaemin presses his lips together. "What's so bad about staying back here? The entire town loves you⏤if you stay, we can stay together. Right?" 

Renjun's eyes widen at Jaemin's statement, throwing him an accusatory look. He knows he shouldn't say things when his emotions are at an all time high but he can't help it. "Jaemin⏤are you saying we can't stay together when I leave?" 

Jaemin frantically shakes his head, steps forward to hold his hand but Renjun steps away defiantly, chin tilted up so his eyes meet Jaemin's. Renjun stares at him, hard and opens his mouth to let out words he will regret. "Is that it? Are you breaking up with me?" 

"No! Renjun, I want you to stay here with me because I  _ love _ you! I know you have dreams and I support you with all my heart… but can't we… can't we compromise? Can't we stay together a little longer?" 

A heavy feeling sinks into Renjun's heart at the mention of the word love. All his fears thinking that it was too soon to say he loves Jaemin are refuted, it's just unfortunate it happened at a time like this. 

He tries to stop the tears but they're already rolling down his cheeks. He wipes them away, watches helplessly as the hurt appears in Jaemin's irises. "Jaemin, I don't understand. We agreed, we talked about it…" Renjun continues backing away from him until his back hits the door. "We prepared ourselves for this, didn't we? Why are you asking such a hard thing from me?" 

"Renjun…" 

"I  _ love _ you, Jaemin. And if you love me as much as I love you, you will let me go." 

Soon enough, Renjun finds himself back at the museum. 

He feels like a child again. But Minseok and Lu Han welcome him with open arms. Minseok allows him to sit by them behind the reception counter and Lu Han has gone out to buy them food. Minseok is better when it comes to the feelings talk anyway⏤and Lu Han agrees to whatever Minseok says. 

Renjun has his head in his arms. He has stopped crying, at least for now, and Minseok's fingers running through his hair brings enough comfort for him not to continue bawling. 

"Look at our Junjun, all grown up and crying about boys." Minseok teases, to which Renjun grumbles. "You really love him, don't you?" 

Renjun forces himself to look up at Minseok and in return, Minseok pats his cheek comfortingly. He doesn't even have to think about it, Renjun loves Jaemin⏤more than he can ever express. Jaemin has helped him so much, helped him move on, helped him get better. Renjun doesn't love Jaemin because he needs him, rather, he needs Jaemin because he loves him. Because of Jaemin shedding a light on his life, Renjun has found a way to look forward to waking up in the morning again. 

Jaemin has helped Renjun to hurt less, and yet here he is, hurting Jaemin more with every second that passes. 

"I love him… I love him so much⏤but I can't give him what he wants. I don't want to break up with him but it sounds like it's what he wants. I feel like I have to choose." 

Talking to Minseok is always relieving. He really regrets cooping up by himself when he was dealing with his parents' death when he can be here, talking to Minseok, or Lu Han, and even Soojung. Thinking about it now, Jaemin has also helped him reconnect with people and with every second, Renjun feels the guilt eating him up for the way he talked to Jaemin. 

Minseok hums in thought, folds his arms over each other on the table as he speaks. "But you've already chosen, haven't you?" 

Renjun groans and buries his head in his arms again. "I can still change my mind…" 

"But you won't. You have chosen your dream and there is nothing wrong with that. You also can't blame Jaemin for trying to make you stay, he loves you—after all. It's only natural. Can you even imagine Lu Han and I away from each other for months? No, right?"

Renjun doesn't remember a time when Minseok and Lu Han aren't together. But what Minseok is saying is confusing him even more. He straightens up, looks at Minseok and asks. "Are you saying that I stay with Jaemin, then?" 

"Silly," Minseok scolds, his hand raising to flick Renjun's forehead and he yelps at the impact, "every couple is different. You just have to communicate well." 

Minseok continues. "I'm sure that Jaemin understands your dreams, and I'm sure he just wants you to understand his heart too. But you know, not only is understanding important—but so is compromise. It's a pretty new relationship but you have already invested so much in each other, it's normal to be afraid of change."

"So I'm going to have to talk to him… and then what?" 

Lu Han comes in from the front door with a bag of food, and Minseok turns to him with a smile. "You have to decide what to do next, both of you as a couple. It's a decision you make together, it shouldn't only rely on one person's end. Just—be the adults you are. Okay?" 

Lu Han arrives at the desk, places the paper bag in front of them and Minseok greets him with a smile. Lu Han bends down to place a kiss on Minseok's forehead, with Minseok's hand pressed to the small of Lu Han's back. It's almost painful how they remind him so much of his own relationship. 

Renjun only has enough energy to wave as Lu Han turns to him. . 

"Everything good? You feeling better Junjun?" 

Renjun inhales, the smell of freshly cooked food welcomes his senses, and he allows the oxygen to fill his lungs for a second. Renjun exhales. "Not yet, but I hope I will soon." 

Minseok and Lu Han share a look, and Renjun knows it's that thing they do—speaking to each other without talking. Like him and Jaemin. 

Lu Han smiles at him and ruffles his hair. "You'll be alright, I just know it. But if you need to escape or rest for a second, we'll be here."

Renjun knows that, and he's filled with an overwhelming sense of warmth. He has a family here, and wherever his feet may take him, this is forever his home. He needs Jaemin to know this. 

In the place where Jaemin is starting to plant his roots, is the same place where Renjun has built his roots from. He will keep coming back to the town no matter how far away he goes, and if Jaemin will still have him, he'll keep coming back home. 

Renjun smiles. "I will give you both the biggest hug right now—but I don't want to be lame."

Lu Han gasps melodramatically. "What do you mean lame? Come here!" 

Renjun doesn't believe that they should go to bed angry at each other. So, after having dinner with Minseok and Lu Han and telling them stories about Jaemin, Renjun finds himself in front of Kun's house.

Kun's house is a familiar sight, after all, he did spend a lot of time here as a child. He hasn't been here in a while with everything that has happened to his life in the past months. Still, the house is unchanged—like tomorrow Yangyang will come out of its doors so they can walk to school together. That's not why Renjun is here though. 

The situation is different now. It's almost foreign, the way he steps into Kun's yard and surprises himself when the front door opens to reveal Kun taking out the trash. 

Kun offers him a warm smile. "Renjun, is that you?"

Renjun shuffles forward, nodding as he hugs himself. "Yeah... is Jaemin here?"

Kun steps aside and gestures for him to come inside. "He is. You know where to find him. I'll be down at The Anchor tonight so you make sure to lock the doors, okay?" 

"I will." Renjun promises as he watches Kun leave the trash for tomorrow's collection and as he disappears into the town center to head to The Anchor. He appreciates Kun's thoughtfulness. Kun has always had some sixth sense when something is wrong, and he's always been a reliable older brother figure to Renjun. 

When Kun is out of sight, Renjun gathers all of his courage and love. He finally steps inside the house, locking the doors behind him just as Kun instructed. 

Kun's house is mostly unchanged, the furniture is still the same, albeit moved so that they are now oriented differently. There's still their high school graduation photo perched on top of the shelves and Renjun can't help but smile to himself as he passes by it. 

He finds himself in front of Yangyang's room easily, now occupied by Jaemin. From behind the door, he can hear Jaemin's soft music resonating through the wood. It's one of  _ those _ songs that Jaemin and Renjun both like.

Renjun breathes in, lifts his hand and knocks on the door softly. 

Jaemin gives a reply after a beat of silence. "Yeah?" 

Renjun clears his throat. "It's… Renjun, Kun let me in… can we talk?" 

The music stops, and suddenly, the entire house is quiet so all that Renjun hears is his controlled breathing. He's nervous and terrified, for reasons that are understandable. He doesn't know if Jaemin will still have him, if he can salvage whatever is left of their relationship after he brought up the option of a break up. 

But Renjun lets go of all his fears, and takes the leap of faith. When Jaemin finally opens the door⏤Renjun looks at him with a steady gaze. 

Jaemin looks different from when he did earlier this morning, he's still wearing his clothes from when Renjun left him in the office. His hair is in disarray, his eyes are obviously swollen from tears but he has a warm smile that welcomes Renjun even if he is hurting

Jaemin is too good for him.

Renjun speaks first. "Can I come in?" 

Jaemin opens up the door fully and lets him in. He realizes it's the first time he stepped into this room since their high school graduation, that it's the first time Renjun is seeing this room that's been modified to house Jaemin and his interests. There are more pictures here than in the office, stuffed animals line his bed and there's a speaker on the old study desk. It smells of Jaemin, looks like Jaemin. He has made a home out of this room too. 

Renjun steps inside, hands clasped together as he waits for Jaemin to close the door and let him sit.

"Do you want me to turn the aircon up?" Jaemin asks, already looking for the remote control but Renjun halts him quickly. 

"It's okay⏤the temperature is okay. I just need to talk to you, Jaemin." 

Jaemin stops in his tracks, gestures for Renjun to sit on the chair next to his bed and Renjun obliges. 

Jaemin sits on the bed adjacent to Renjun, leaning backwards on his palms as he waits for Renjun to speak. 

Renjun takes a deep inhale. "I'm sorry." 

Jaemin smiles, but his eyes are nowhere near Renjun. "I'm sorry too." There's a pause, and Renjun waits with bated breath as Jaemin tries to find the words to say. "Did you mean that, what you said earlier?" 

"I said a lot of things…" Renjun mumbles remorsefully, looking at his hands on his lap. "I meant it when I said I love you. I honestly love you so much that there are times when I considered staying here…" 

Jaemin allows him to continue. "But?" 

"But… but I don't think that I will be able to be fully happy if I don't see what's waiting for me in the city… you know?" He lets out a loud exhale, having said that out loud makes him feel so much better. The truth hurts, not only for him, but he knows it must hurt for Jaemin too but this is something that must be said. 

"Just like how you took the chance and moved here⏤I also want to take this chance in my life, even once. You said to me that I should learn to take risks right? And… doing this… it's going to be the biggest risk I take and I have to know what will happen. I don’t want to regret that I had the chance to do something and I just let it pass by me. I don't want my life to just pass by me, Jaemin." 

Jaemin nods, lifts his head so that he's looking at Renjun. There's the familiar look in his eyes, the tenderness, the understanding, Renjun is sure they never went away anyway. But right now, the way his eyes sparkle as he looks at Renjun is crystal clear. 

"Asking you to stay was also a risk I took, Renjun." Jaemin admits as he stands up from the bed and sits down by Renjun's legs on the floor. Renjun reaches out to him, and their hands are resting intertwined on Renjun's lap. "I knew I would regret it for my entire life if I didn't ask you to stay even just once. I knew we would fight, but I also took the risk because I don't want to live knowing I didn't even try to make you stay." 

Renjun strokes his finger against Jaemin's cheek, drawing soothing lines down the apple of his cheek and Jaemin leans against the warm touch. Jaemin speaks again. "I completely understand that though, more than anyone in this world, I understand you. That feeling inside where you just have to do it to see where it will take you? I truly,  _ truly, _ get that." 

Renjun knows that. Jaemin understands his heart in every way it is humanly possible. And in return, he should learn to understand Jaemin's heart too. Renjun nods. "You did teach me about taking risks… and I took it to heart. I have to live a little after all, right?" 

It brings him back to their meeting by the sea, how that had only been a few weeks ago and how quickly their relationship had changed. Jaemin’s impact in his life is irreplaceable, that he doesn’t think he can ever go back to being the person he was before he met Jaemin.

"Right." Jaemin smiles up at him, hands still clasped together. "So, what do you think? Do you think we can risk it? Should we risk a long distance relationship?" 

Warmth blooms in Renjun's heart, happiness stretching his lips into a smile as he takes Jaemin's hand and presses a kiss to his knuckles. "Fuck yeah, we can do it. I know we can." 

Jaemin kneels so that he can reach Renjun, so that he can press a kiss to his forehead and Renjun bows his head down to meet him in the middle. "It's going to be hard… getting used to not having you here all the time." 

"I know," Renjun agrees, closing his eyes as Jaemin presses his lips to his forehead, "but this town… you… you're my _ home, _ and I'm always bound to come back home, right?" 

He feels Jaemin smile against his forehead, strong arms wrapping around him in a hug and Renjun just allows himself to be held. "Right. I'll be here." 

"I love you." 

"I love you too." 

A few days before his departure, Renjun finally gets a call from the buyer of the house. 

He’s at the mansion, clearing up the rest of things with Jaemin’s help. His room’s almost all packed up, and the mansion is as good as it gets. Jaemin has been taking a lot of pictures of him in the mansion and Renjun appreciates it. Although the weight of the mansion is too much to bear by himself, it is still the place that he grew up in after all. He’ll have the fondest memories here forever.

They’re midway through bringing Renjun’s luggages from his room down to the main hall so that he can easily grab them once he’s going to leave when the call comes. His phone vibrates in his pocket, and Renjun pauses in the grand staircase as he pulls it out, his bag of clothing hanging off a shoulder. 

"Hello?" He answers the phone. Jaemin raises his brow as he descends the stairs next to him, carrying a box of Renjun's things. Renjun only shrugs, as confused as Jaemin is. 

"Mr. Huang? This is Kim Taeyeon from the Town Hall. I'd like to ask if we can come down by the mansion to discuss the terms of sale?" 

Renjun almost drops his phone at what he hears from the other end, and Jaemin is looking up at him from the bottom of the staircase, concerned. He only shakes his head, gestures to Jaemin that he's fine and continues the conversation on the phone. "Oh⏤um, yes. Of course. When would you be able to come around?"

"Would 3PM be alright with you?" 

"Yes. Do I have to prepare anything?"

"It's fine, the Town Hall will be taking care of everything. We just need you and your signature." 

"Okay. Thank you. See you." 

When the phone call ends, everything else that happens is a blur. 

"Jaemin! Jaemin, oh my god, you won't believe this!" Renjun practically runs down the stairs, and Jaemin waits with open arms as he crashes against his chest. 

"What? Who's that?" 

"Someone from the Town Hall called… apparently, my mystery buyer is the  _ fucking _ town, Jaemin! The town is buying the mansion!" 

Jaemin very evidently takes a second to digest that information, his face blank before it lights up in a smile. "Wow! That's amazing! Looks like they have things planned for this house, huh?" 

Renjun looks around the mansion and nods. "I hope so. But now, we really have to clean this up, what if they change their mind?" 

Jaemin laughs and pokes Renjun's cheek. "I doubt they would, c'mon. Let's get things out of the way." 

Renjun and Jaemin work at record speed to have Renjun's things in the main hall obscured from any visitor. Then, Renjun washes up and dresses formally as Jaemin prepares snacks. 

Soon enough, Renjun and Jaemin are gathered with the people from the Town Hall to discuss the matter of selling the house. It's overwhelming for Renjun, having lawyers and people of authority from the Town Hall discuss the terms. But it's okay, because Jaemin is holding his hand underneath the table to ground him. 

They discuss the paperwork, the payment, and more importantly, they discuss their plans for rehabilitating the mansion into a Community Center. 

That especially delights Renjun, because that means the mansion will be full of people even if he's not here. The mayor has expressed his desire to bring back the old habits of the town, of their old traditions of getting together to spend time with each other and relax. And, with the mansion and Renjun's family playing a big role in the unity of the town, it only seems proper that the town takes care of the mansion when Renjun can't. 

Renjun is very agreeable to this. In fact, he thinks that this is the best option when it comes to the mansion. He can already picture it bustling with life like it used to in his childhood, he can already imagine the town aunts gathering together every weekend sharing their specialties, he can already imagine the town uncles bragging to each other about their boats or their freshest catch. Renjun is excited for what’s about to come.

This is what his parents would have wanted for the house, for the town. They always loved people, always loved that their humble abode could be an avenue for people to get together and mingle and bond. He knows, wherever they are, that they’d be happy with the decision Renjun made. 

He wonders if he’s making them proud.

They sign the paperwork, and they promise to send Renjun an email about the details of the rehabilitation of the mansion. The department working on this project is very transparent about it, promises to send Renjun an email with the blueprint and the detailed time frame for the restoration. 

Even as the people from the town hall leave the mansion, Renjun can’t help the smile on his lips. 

“Oh my god, Jaemin… I can’t believe this.” He exclaims, pulling Jaemin into a bone-crushing hug, his face pressed against the crook of Jaemin’s neck. Jaemin holds him close, arms around his waist as tiny kisses are peppered on the side of his head.

“The mansion is going to be in good hands, you don’t have to worry about anything now.” Jaemin tells him, his voice filled with certainty. Renjun shares the same confidence. 

Renjun pulls away to look at Jaemin. He holds him like that in his arms, staring up at him, burning Jaemin’s face into memory. It's a memory he saves for a rainy day. “Thank you for always being here for me.”

Jaemin smiles back at him, leaning forward to brush his nose against Renjun’s. “And thank  _ you _ for always being here with me too.”

The action makes Renjun’s stomach fill with butterflies, and he takes the chance to close the distance between their lips. 

Jaemin kisses him back eagerly, pushing him back inside the mansion and closing the door behind them with slight trouble. Renjun steps backwards into the house, arms wrapping around Jaemin’s neck as he drags him with him to keep the kiss going even as they stumble inside blindly.

Renjun knows they still have some packing left to do, still have to return to the surf school so that he can help Jaemin finalize some details for their opening. But for now, Renjun doesn’t bring any of that up. They don’t have much time left together anyway, so Renjun just allows Jaemin as he leads him back up to his room.

With a mischievous grin on his lips, Jaemin opens the door to Renjun’s room, the other holding Renjun’s hand. “One last time?”

Renjun exhales through his nose, rolls his eyes as he pushes Jaemin into the room by his chest. “One more time.”

It’s the most important day of their lives.

Today, Jaemin and Xuxi will open their surf school. They have their first batch of clients coming in the morning just in time for the grand opening. On the other hand, this is Renjun's last day in town, he'll be driving to the city with the rest of his belongings tonight. 

It's bittersweet, a day of new beginnings and endings of wonderful chapters. Thinking about it makes Renjun melancholic, but at the same time, the way things are going, the way things are  _ changing  _ make Renjun happy, in a way. 

He wakes up to Jaemin's arm wrapped around his middle, naked chest pressed against Renjun's back. Renjun turns around, inhaling the scent of the room. This is going to be the last time he wakes up in the mansion, and there's no better way to wake up than to Jaemin's peaceful sleeping face. 

He pats Jaemin's cheek, coaxing him to consciousness. "Gorgeous, it's time to wake up."

Jaemin groans, budges only for him to pull Renjun in a tighter hug. "Five more minutes." 

"As much as I'd love to let you sleep the entire day, it's kind of the most important day of our lives." Renjun sits up and gets the bright idea to straddle Jaemin. "If you wake up right now, I'll kiss you." 

In a flash and in a seeming bout of energy, Jaemin has sat up, hands on Renjun's waist as he looks up at him expectantly, eyes wide and awake. "Can I have my kiss now?" 

Renjun rolls his eyes, laughing. "You're unbelievable." He relents anyway. A hand cups Jaemin's cheek as Renjun leans forward to slot their lips together. 

They kiss slowly, their lips moving in perfect sync, like how they've always done so many times in the past. But now, every kiss seems like a moment being savoured—they both know that after today, they will both be busy and it will be weeks, if not months, before they get to see each other again. So, even if kissing Jaemin takes longer than five minutes, Renjun doesn't say anything. 

When they pull away, both sated and satisfied, they manage to move around easily. They shower together, Renjun batting Jaemin's wandering hands away because they're both still sore from last night and the nights before. Plus, they really do have urgent places to be. 

Renjun's remaining clothes are hanging in his room, the rest of them stashed into bags that he will have to haul into his car today. He gets dressed, then waits for Jaemin to finish too. 

"Smile." Out of nowhere, Renjun sees Jaemin with his camera and he smiles at him instinctively. 

Jaemin has a satisfied look on his face as he glances at the screen of his camera, to which Renjun hums curiously. "You look happy." 

Renjun moves to where Jaemin is, enveloping him in a hug. "That's because I am." 

Jaemin hugs him back. "Me too." 

They hug in silence for a while, until Jaemin speaks up. "One day, in the future, let's live together." 

The thought of living with Jaemin excites him, the thought of waking up to Jaemin everyday and falling asleep next to him every night excites him. However, that's further into the timeline of their lives, but that doesn't stop Renjun from looking forward to it any less. He knows, somewhere in the future, they will find a way to be together again. 

But for now, they're okay. They have to separate in order to grow and that's okay. 

Renjun nods against Jaemin's hold. "Yeah, I'd love that." 

Saying goodbye to the people in the town is harder than he thought it would be. 

Jaemin went down to the surf school first to get ready for the grand opening and the first batch of lessons. While Renjun went to the town hall to hand over the keys to the department handling the rehabilitation of the mansion. 

After that, he drives to the museum to say goodbye to Minseok and Lu Han. 

Of course, they're both overdramatic about it and Lu Han's hug around his neck is so tight he fears that he might be even sadder than Jaemin about his departure. 

Minseok wishes him luck, and they give him a gift that they say he should open once he's in the city. Lu Han says it's a rice cooker for his new house, but Minseok clasps a hand over his mouth so as to not ruin the surprise. He's sure that Donghyuck has a complete set of working kitchen gadgets but the thoughtfulness doesn't go unappreciated. 

Renjun promises to visit when he can, and Lu Han tells him to promote the town and the museum to his new city friends. Of course, this doesn't have to be said anyway. Renjun will always be proud of his town, the museum, the beach, and the people that live in it. He'll surely talk about the town endlessly to the new people he'll meet. 

When Renjun finally manages to say goodbye to Lu Han and Minseok without any further shedding of tears, he finds himself in The Anchor. 

"We're closed⏤can't you read?" 

Renjun laughs and closes the door behind him. Soojung looks away from where she's watching something on her phone and gasps when she sees who's at the door.

"I just came around to say goodbye⏤but if you don't want to hear it, that's fine by me." 

Soojung rolls her eyes at him but beckons him over anyway. Renjun jogs up to the table she's sitting on and sits across her. 

"So you're really leaving?" There is a fond smile in Soojung's face, as if she's proud of the way Renjun is living his life. Soojung doesn't say these kinds of things that much, but Renjun feels them anyway. 

Renjun nods. "Mhm, after Jaemin's grand opening today. I'll be off to the city."

At the mention of Jaemin, Soojung's smile grows wider. "You really made it work with him, huh?" 

Renjun is brought back to the very first time he hung out with Jaemin at The Anchor. The first time he got drunk with him, told him his stories and opened up to him. In a way, the beginning of their love story happened here and if not for Soojung, he isn't sure the night would've gone as well as it did for them. 

"You know, in a way, you kind of helped us get together⏤really." Renjun says rather bashfully, feeling his cheeks heat up as they start to talk about his relationship with Jaemin. 

Soojung suppresses her laughter. "God, you are so sickly in love with him. I just egged you guys on a little, all the work here is all yours, both of you guys. '

Renjun shifts in his seat. "Still, I want to thank you⏤and also I came to say goodbye." 

Soojung shakes her head, waving her hand around as she shoots to stand up. "Nonsense! There is no such thing as goodbyes, only see you soon. Now wait here, I have something for you." 

He watches as Soojung disappears into the kitchen and he waits patiently, looking around The Anchor. 

_ No goodbyes, only see you soon.  _

Soojung has always been a huge influence on Renjun as he's growing up. And, even now, when he thinks he has all grown up, Soojung still influences him to think better⏤to think positively. 

When Soojung comes back out from the kitchen, she has an armful of ice cooler that Renjun jumps up to his feet to go and help her out. “What the hell is in here?” He asks, helps her to place it on the table they were sitting around earlier.

“It’s frozen food that I made. You can heat it up in the microwave or on the stove once you’re back in the city. I can’t have you dying in a big city where we can’t get to you immediately.” Soojung jokes as she opens up the container, and there inside are packs of frozen dumplings and spring rolls that he can reheat whenever he likes.

Renjun looks at Soojung, smiles and then pulls her in for a hug. Soojung tries to resist for a moment but melts in the hug anyway, her chin hooked over Renjun’s shoulder as she hugs him back. 

“Thank you, for always taking care of me.” Renjun says, barely above a whisper, and even though he knows that their relationship isn’t always the one for sappy moments like this⏤Renjun has learnt the value of telling people things you have to say to them before it gets too late.

“You are so sappy.” Soojung slaps the back of his shoulder, eliciting a painful sound from Renjun that dissolves into laughter as soon as she hugs him tighter. “I could’ve taken care of you better, but from the looks of it, I think you are already taken care of enough.”

Renjun doesn’t deny that. 

Soojung pulls away first, reaching up to ruffle his hair. “But you take care, okay? If you ever need to get away from the city, you know where to come back to.”

Renjun nods. “Of course, I know my way.”

“Good.”

When he comes to the surf school, it’s bustling with life for the first time since Jaemin took him there.

Usually, it’s just him, Jaemin and Xuxi. Sometimes, other friends from the town come around to tour or visit but it’s mostly just the three of them working together to get the building up and running. Today, however, it’s filled with life and people and Renjun is so happy for them.

Inside the lobby, there are already the students with nametags on their surfing suit. They look just about ready to face the waves. There’s a couple with the names ‘Chenle’ and ‘Jisung’ on their chests who look equal parts nervous and excited for what’s about to happen. 

He walks up to the reception desk where Xuxi is busy manning the counter. He rests his elbows on the counter and beams at Xuxi. “Hey, how’s it going?”

Xuxi looks up at him, his wide eyes even wider in surprise but he grins back at him just as wide anyway. “Hi. Busy. Jaemin’s at the back.”

Renjun nods, pursing his lips as he stares at the paperwork and computer management Xuxi has his hands busy with. “Why don’t you go help him out there and I’ll work here for the time being just until you guys start with the classes and have everything sorted out?”

He realizes that Xuxi and Jaemin might need to start hiring another person, especially for peak season where tourists would come into the town. When Xuxi hears his offer, he looks as if Renjun is an angel that descended from heaven to help them out. “Please, thank you⏤I could kiss you right now.”

Renjun walks over behind the counter, laughing as he nudges Xuxi away with his hip. “No thank you, go and help Jaemin.”

Xuxi scampers away from where he’s seated and Renjun occupies his previous spot. He gets to work immediately, filing papers and data sheets from the clients. He tries to arrange them to make it easy for Jaemin and Xuxi to work through them once the day is over. In the middle of work, someone knocks on the counter and Renjun looks up to see the couple from earlier.

The taller one, Jisung, is hiding behind the shorter one with dark hair, Chenle. 

“How can I help you?” He asks, his customer service smile plastered on his face.

Chenle grabs Jisung by his arm, shoving him forward slightly and Renjun can’t help but chuckle. “Can you tell my boyfriend that surfing isn’t as scary as he thinks it is? It’s our anniversary and he’s being such a baby.”

Renjun’s eyes flit between Chenle and Jisung, smiling as he remembers himself in Jisung. “Jisung? Is that right? I’m Renjun.”

Jisung nods, smiling slightly. Chenle has his arm hooked around Jisung’s own, keeping him close. 

“Actually, surfing  _ is _ kind of scary. I was scared of the sea, I was scared of even stepping into the water!” He begins his story, and Jisung’s eyes go wide at the peculiar beginning of his story. Chenle is as equally confused but Renjun shakes his head as he continues his story. “But that’s because it’s something new to me, something that I don’t know? But I promise you, Jaemin and Xuxi⏤they’re the best instructors you can have, especially for beginners.” 

Chenle smiles, satisfied with the answer. “See? It might be scary, but we have good teachers!” 

“That’s right!” Renjun agrees, boasting the reputation of his boyfriend and his company. “Honestly, I really didn’t know how to surf but Jaemin taught me how to surf very quickly. And, if anything happens, if you get too scared⏤your boyfriend is right there with you. He’ll be holding your hand, isn’t that right, Chenle?”

Red dusts the cheeks of both boys, the two of them huddling closer together at the recognition of their relationship. “Right.” Chenle says, nudging Jisung with an elbow. “So if you get scared, I’ll be there anyway.”

Jisung nods, holding Chenle’s hand over his arm. “Okay, let’s do this. Thank you, Mr. Renjun.”

Renjun nods, and just as he opens his mouth to tell them to approach him if they need anything else, Jaemin comes out from the back office, in his surf suit and looking ready to face even the biggest waves.

They meet each other’s eyes and smile. Renjun is so proud of him.

“Alright, everyone. Thank you for waiting, is everyone ready for today’s lesson?”

Jaemin and Xuxi are great teachers. 

They teach the clients in two batches, with Jisung and Chenle under Jaemin. Renjun watches from the surf school as Jaemin and Xuxi do their jobs. Just as he advertised earlier, they’re both good teachers. 

Their clients have varying age ranges, from little kids excited to learn how to surf, to young adults like Chenle and Jisung, there’s even a client who Renjun thinks is as old as his aunt trying to learn how to surf. He realizes that the sport is for everyone who wants to try out something new, for everyone who wants to take risks and find new things to live for⏤and really, more than anyone he knows, he doesn’t know anyone better than Jaemin to teach this sport.

They teach the clients well into the afternoon for the first session, everything has gone swimmingly. After that, Jisung personally looks for Renjun to thank him for the encouragement. He tells him he did nothing, it’s Jaemin’s expertise that has Jisung on the surfboard anyway but Jisung still expresses his gratitude.

When all the classes are done and Jaemin has found himself in Renjun’s arms after a long day. 

“You did so well, I’m so proud of you.” Renjun whispers against Jaemin’s hair. Jaemin smells like the sea, sand sticking to his skin and his cheeks red from the exposure under the sun. “I’m so happy for you.”

And even with Xuxi and some clients still around, Jaemin closes the distance between them and kisses Renjun square on the mouth.

They both deserve this, anyway.

Renjun drives his car back to the mansion with Jaemin after the classes are done just to say goodbye, together and to each other. But just like Soojung has told him earlier, there are no goodbyes, only see you soon.

The car is parked in a place where the view of the beach is perfect, with the sun setting on the horizon, the mansion in sight. Everything is so beautiful, perfect, like a painting that Renjun has somehow managed to transport himself into. This is a sight that he is going to miss, but he is also looking forward to the city skyline and the starless nights. 

More importantly, it’s the warmth next to him that Renjun will miss more dearly than anything. 

They’re sitting on the hood of Renjun’s car, watching as the sun sets into the sea. The moment is so serene, like they’re stuck in time and nothing is important other than each other’s presence. 

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" Jaemin asks, leaning against Renjun so that their heads are pressed together. 

Renjun pauses at the familiar question, it's the exact words his aunt left him with before she left the town a month ago. Only now, Jaemin is saying it⏤and now, he's the one leaving town. For a moment, it reminds Renjun that after everything, he's alright. He will be alright. 

So many things have changed. He still misses his parents everyday, but he is getting better at dealing with the fact that they are gone. Now, he just has to focus on making something out of the life they left him. He knows he’s never going to see them again, or hold them again, or even tell them he loves them ever again but Renjun has moved past that. He has accepted his grief, developed it into something that can help him bloom into a stronger person and he knows that his parents will be proud. 

Renjun smiles, holds Jaemin’s hand in his and twines their fingers together. 

“I will be, Gorgeous. Will you be alright?” He throws the question back to Jaemin, knowing that as much as the city is new to Renjun, the town is also new to Jaemin. Given that he has taught Jaemin his favorite places in town, there’s still so many things to discover and so many things to learn. 

“Of course.” He beams at him, lifting their hands together so he can kiss Renjun’s knuckles. Renjun uses his other hand to tuck Jaemin’s hair behind his ear, the blond fading a little bit as his roots begin to grow. “I have Xuxi, I have Kun, I have Soojung, Minseok and Lu Han⏤your family here has become my family too. You shouldn’t even be worried about me.”

Their lives have greatly intertwined now, with the people that helped shape Renjun to be who he is also now part of Jaemin’s life. It feels natural, like it’s meant to be. 

“Don’t worry about me too⏤I have Donghyuck and Yangyang. You should come to the city sometime and meet them. I think the three of you would get along really well.”

Jaemin evidently lights up at that. “Of course, I’d have to show you around too.”

For the rest of the time they have together, they watch the sunset and kiss on the hood of Renjun’s car. The both of them feel like they want the time to stop, but they know that they have to move forward. It’s a necessary separation, but they know it’s not permanent. Somewhere down the road, somewhere along the way, they will find their way back to each other like how the waves will always find their way back to the shore. 

Jaemin kisses him even until he’s strapped down to his car by his seatbelt, his head peeking inside the window and peppering Renjun’s face with kisses. If Renjun hadn’t stopped him, Renjun thinks he wouldn’t.

“See you later?” Renjun says when they finally pull away, his car engine whirring to life. 

Jaemin steps back, hands in his pockets as he nods with a smile. “See you later, Gorgeous. Call me when you get there okay?”

Renjun releases his seatbelt and lunges forward, grabbing Jaemin by his collar for one last kiss before he finally lets go. For real this time. “I’ll call you.”

Jaemin doesn’t say anything else after that. He only steps away from the car enough so Renjun can start to drive away, hand raised as he waves. 

Renjun watches from the rearview mirror as the mansion and Jaemin become smaller and farther away from sight. Jaemin doesn’t leave until he can’t see him anymore, there’s a long road ahead of him, and a big city to face. Donghyuck has prepared the extra room in his apartment for him and his new job is waiting for him. He has a town that has let him spread his wings, and a love of his life that understands his need to grow. 

The way to his dreams and self-fulfilment is long-winding, but with his support system and the people that he loves, everything will turn out fine. 

He will be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! And most importantly, thank to Lee for letting me write this surfer!Jaemin prompt. I hope you like how the story turned out and I hope there was enough of surfer!Jaemin in here because WHEW this got emo. 
> 
> Thank you also to Kerrie for reading over this and giving me feedback. I wouldn't have finished this fic as quickly if not for you! I love you! 
> 
> Also, this fic got really personal because my grandfather died as I was in the middle of completing this fic. So in a way, I kind of projected my healing/moving on process onto Renjun lol. I'm okay now, doing better, like Renjun in this fic. I guess writing this brought me comfort somehow? IDK how to put it into words.
> 
> Lastly, I was finishing up this fic and came across this version of [Cornelia Street by Taylor Swift ](https://open.spotify.com/track/3fGnrtrtL1IHSX9t4DKOYf?si=7CRknc4cQUqukr-zCwktgg). I couldn't stop listening to this song while writing the ending. So as you finish reading this fic, I hope you can listen to it and be reminded of the fic as well. Anyway, let me know what you think!
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/renstals)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/renjunims)  
> 


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